I know it has been awhile since I have posted here. Going to start as I have some anger to get out my system. Having Christian/Catholic friends on facebook I don’t share the witch stuff and sometimes I want to save it as I want to have it for my online book of shadows.
When I started this blog and my journey from White Nationalism I didn’t ever think things would have turned out the way they did. I am glad I started the journey as 10 years later I am ready to embrace life. Still have a lot of work to do, as my anger is not healthy. Now that I know that root feeling and that feeling of wanting revenge, I can sort it through and find a way to forgive and movie forward.
Tonight a neighbor had to call the police because we were worried another neighbor might be dead. Our mothers were girls here in Salina and knew each other from 13 or so. I was feeling obligated. A weakness of being a caregiver of everyone else. Anyway, she is known by the police because she is a wino. She is a drunk. Her life is a mess and I had to admit to myself that I can’t help her. She doesn’t see her red wine as a problem. I don’t know what her rock bottom is.
Something is going on but there is nothing anyone can do. She is being evicted in a week and hasn’t even try to find a new place.
I wanted help. I wanted to heal from the PTSD. Today I am so much better emotionally then I was before I started my journey 10 years ago.