Wonderful Blessings

April 8, 2014

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I am Wicca at heart.  Finally I am able to let go of the past and since i took that first step on the journey to get help, I finally see a light at the end of darkness.  maybe i will come out of the witches closet and stop trying to fight it so much.

Tescott is a great town.   

i am looking forward to Summer.

Love and blessings.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend

March 30, 2014

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Soon I will be able to plant my flowers. Spring will be here soon. I see a little green grass and hope my bulbs I planted last Fall will come up soon.

Baseball season starts soon.

I am thinking of trying an interesting diet. In Spring I think it is normal to think of loosing weight for Summer.

There is a lot going on in the world”s political stage, but I will continue my silence on that topic.

Spring is almost here

March 19, 2014

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Tomorrow is the first day of Spring.  I am exciited about getting ready to plant my flowers.  This morning I heard the birds singing.

I read in the AZ paper yesterday that they had to put down a dog that was thrown out of a moviing van in phoenix..  Hope they catch this sick and evil person and send them to tent city with sherif Joe. Who would be so cruel to their loving pet?

Not doing much today.</p

Happy St Patrick’s Day

March 16, 2014

I have my Irish flag hanging. Took down my spoon collection for now.

Tomorrow is DAR meeting. Going to wear green and take some shamrock cookies on my Betsy Ross plate that Ginny gave me.

Wanda and I went to church and Olive Garden for lunch and it was very good.

I wonder if we will ever know what happen to fight 370?

Wishing you all a very happy St Patrick’s Day.

Sunday Night

March 10, 2014

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I am enjoying the Celtic Woman special on PBS.  Even took out my Irish Drum and played with the music.  Would love to find other people who are interested in playing Celtic music to jam with.

Went to church where my friend Anne goes to church this morning and it was nice.  

I love St Patrick’s Day. When I did my nails I got shamrocks painted on them.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

 

It has been a nice birthday

March 7, 2014

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Wed. I became another year older.  it was a quiet, but a nice birthday. Got my nails done yesterday and went out to lunch with a friend today.

There is a lot going on in the world that I could comment about with knowledge, but I won’t.  Just going to let things play out as they wiill. I have withdrawn myself from all that.  I don’t believe in one person making a differnce for good in the world anymore.  My trust and faith in the government has been shattered.  Don’t know if my trust, faith, or respect can ever be restored.  Joe K never found the honor or courage to face and talk to me.  I have the honor and courage to face him and my mistakes, but Joe seems to lack that same courage.

I actually pitty Joe, because he was born with all the advantages in life, but he seems to lack moral courage to do the right thing.  Very sad.  What does Joe really believe in?  It seems he only believes in what is good for him and lacks any real compassion for people.,  he looks good for the camera and the press, but in his real life, doesn’t really give a damm.

I am thankful to God for the blessings he has given me of true friends who know my heart and love me as i am.  Who see my heart of Gold and don’t judge me for my mistakes and past as I don’t judge others.. Have peace of mind and and working to move forward and let go of the toxic people and past that has held me back for many years.

love and blessings to all who read my journal.

We had DAR meeting today

February 23, 2014

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Today was the George Washington tea.  Today 22 Feb. is George Washington’s Birthday, though you wouldn’t know it because this nation doesn’t honor it anymore.  They lump all the President’s together now.  

I have been fighting a sore throat so I think I am getting a cold.  I get a cough and it always goes to my lungs.

Alot is happening around the world, on the POLITICAL FRONT.  i may not say anything, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what is going on.  I have just been keeping silent and letting things play out.  

I used to think that one person could make a difference in the world, but I don’t believe it anymore.  I got tired of fighitng and fighting for what is right, only to continue to hit a brick wall time and time again.  insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  I am not a quiter, so for me to admit defeat and let go was very diffficult  It took me many years to face the truth that help is never coming in my fight against White Nationalism and all the other evils in the world today.  I am not fighting anymore and am just working on my healing.

I am in a much better place today then I was a year ago.  I am glad I went through the groups I went to in AZ as they really did help me heal.

Yes, I have made mistakes in this life.  I have done things that I am not proud of, but am ashamed of.  I will be the first one to call myself an idiot.  To me it is worst to make mistakes and do wrong and refuse to admit your mistakes and to say your sorry and refuse to do the right thing.  We all know people in our lives who have hurt us and treated us wrongly who never give you another thought aa long as they live.  They only think of themselves.  You hear about when someone ignores their cries for help, yet they ignore the cries of their neighbor when she reaches out to them for help.  When I read a story in the paper about an  old friend who had his call unanswered for heating oil, I thought now he knows how I felt when he ignored my request for help.  You see we reap what we sow, so he reaped what he sowed.

Yet the Bible tells me I must forgive and forget.  How do I forget?

I am not as angry but there is still a little anger inside of me toward this person.  I have prayed that God will show me the truth.  Maybe the truth is that Joe  has no honor inside of him and lacks the courage to face me and talkl to me.  I have honor and courage to face Joe K, and to tell him the truth.  Look I was wrong too.  He has a right to be as angry with me as I do with him.  Yet, the difference is I am willing to face him and listen to him with an open mind, whereas he refuses to give me a chance to face the accusations against me.  He judged me on gossip and hearsay anad mis-information.  I didn’t judge him, but have given him every chance to defend himself.

I used to think I wasn’t good enough for Joe K, but the truth is that Joe isn’t good enough to be my friend.  

I have lots of friends in my life who love me and know the truth person I am and see my heart of gold.  I am happy and I am at peace.

Love and blessings to all who read my journal.

Tuesday

February 18, 2014

I have a busy day today.  Going to meet a good friend for lunch today and have other errands to do in Salina.  It is a beautiful Spring day that reminds me that Spring is just around the corner, as well as another birthday in my life.  I will be 56 in a couple of weeks.

Reading my books that I am reading, I realized that because of the way Jews have been treated in Europe that a lot of people don’t know they have any Jewish blood in them because their ancestors converted to Christianity.  Some by the sword and some because they came to believe in Jesus Christ as The Lord and Savior.  Yet to the Nazi’s anyone with a drop of Jewish blood in them was sent to the concentration camp to be gassed.  I am glad I know the truth of what my DNA is.

One of the common qu;estions that people ask is how can other human beings treat other human beings so evil?

I still don’t know the answer to that question.

I thtink it has to be something inside of them and would allow them to do such evil deeds.  Then another part of me knows how easy it is to be brainwashed and to look at the so called enemy as not a human being, but as someone to be destroyed.  I see that same kind of brainwashing happening today in the world.  

Saturday is the DAR Geroge Washington tea, which will be nice.  It is good to be back in my chapter that my mother and I first joined together.  Coming back home to Kansas has been and continues to be very healing for me.

Love and Blessings to all who read my jorunal.

Happy Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2014

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Hope everyone is having a great day.

We are having a touch of Spring as it is close to 50 today and the snow is melting. I am sure we will have some more snow before Spring arrives on March 21.

I am enjoying the Winter Games. Have always enjoyed the Winter Games more then the Summer Games.

In reading the Goebbels book, I learned the he was born and raised a Roman Catholic. His parents had wanted him to become a priest.

I ask myself what would make someone reject his CAtholic faith and become the man he turned out to be that was a big part of the Nazi Government and pushed for the murder of all Jews in Europe?

I left the Catholic Church for my own reasons. There are many of us who have left the church. Yet none of us became mass murderers. We didn’t become people who HATE an ENTIRE RACE OF PEOPLE.

So it has to be something within him and made him become the evil person he became in adulthood.

One of my devotional books that I use is called Hope for each day by Billy Graham. The morning’s reading really touched my heart. It was titled Love one another.

The message was that hate of people because of race, ethnic group or religion is a sin in God’s eyes. I think that is true; because God has for years been dealing with me on that topic. That is why I could never fully embrace Jeff’s CI/White Nationalism beliefs.

At the time, I lied to myself and told myself I believed as they did so that I would be able to keep my friends I had made. I have confessed my sin to God and I know I am forgiven. Man may never forgive me, but God does.

There is life after White Nationalism.

Truth shines the light on the lies and with time and opening your mind to the truth, you will realize that White Nationalism is a path that leads to destruction.

God has his hand on me and will continue to guide me and direct me to the path he wants me to walk. Everything happens for a reason, so there is a reason why I became a White Nationalist and there is a reason why I couldn’t believe what they believe about Jews, even before I found out I am European Jewish ancestry, and started fighting the White Nationalists.

I am going to bake some brownies for Valentine’s Day.

Love and Blessings to all who read this journal.

Coming to terms

February 12, 2014

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Last night as I was reading in the Holocuat book I am reading of real stories I knew that I was right that if I had been alive and living in Nazi Germany I would have been one of those who faced death because of the Jewish blood in my veins.

” Among the German, Czech and Austrian Jews who had been deported to the Lodz ghetto were 250 who were only Jews according to Nazi designation.  Although of Jewish birth, all 250 were baptized Christians. On Christmas Eve they held two services, one for Catholics and one for Protestants.  The Catholic service, attended by 40 people, was conducted by Sister Maria Fuhrmann, a Carmelite nun from Vienna, and a Master of Theology. Two Catholic priests, both Jews by birth were among those at the service.” ( pg 244, the Holocaust, the history of the Jews of Europe during the Second World War, by Martin Gilbert)

How many people were like me who didn’t know they were born with Jewish blood and were raised Christian?

So I get back to the question, can one be Jewish and believe in Yeshua (Jesus)? P

I am reading a book by a Rabbi of the Messianic Jewish Faith. I really like his book so far.

I do believe in God. I believe he has a hand in my finding out the truth of my genetic being. Some people would think it doesn’t matter as we are all the same, but I think it is important to know who we are and our ethnic make up.

I am happy I took the DNA test from ancestry.com.

I would rather know the truth, then continue to think I was German when I have zero German Blood running through my veins. I was living a LIE.

I still love German food and think Germany is a wonderful nation and the German people have given the world great gifts of music and other works of art.

Yet, I am not German and I wouldn’t want to continue to think I am German when I am not.

I found out I am also Italian and I have always loved Italy.

The truth is the most important thing to me.

I am not going to be ashamed of who I am but embrace whoever I am.

Love and Blessings to all who read my blog.

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