Going to MN tomorrow

September 20, 2014

Watching the movie now on tv as I pack for tomorrow. I know that I am in a much better place now, as I cleaned out the toxic people. It is sad that some people get jealous of your success. Yes, I lost 55 pounds this Summer.

We had our first DAR meeting for the year. In my chapter there were 4 of us who lost a combined weight of 200 pounds. We are striving to become the healthy chapter, lol.

Found out that the local Salina SAR chapter disbanded, which I think is sad, as I was hoping to work a joint project. Not giving up as I think it is important.

Went to a funeral today.

Ginny wants me to drive her to a clinic in MN and I said I would. Hope she finds out why she is feeling ill.

Happy Fall.

Most likely will miss my Scottish Games this year,but Ginny is more important to me.

I embrace the change

September 13, 2014

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DAR meeting this Monday and I am very excited for the beginning of a new year. The girls won’t recognize me as I have lost 55 lbs since April. I can honestly say I have very little that fits me. Trying to hold out until I get to my goal, but I need to buy some at my mid point. I have 45 to goal to reach my total goal of loosing 100 lbs total.

I will not allow anyone to verbally attack me with lies and half truths. My mother I allowed because she was my mom. This person will never get close to me again, as I have healed so much since I started therapy in AZ.

I have learned to remain calm and silent and not be drawn into a verbal screaming match. This person doesn’t realize how lucky they are that I have learned to deal with hurt and anger in a more healthy way.

I will not allow anyone to pull me down, so I am moving on and moving forward on my journey of peace and healing.

Spiritually I am allowing myself to explore different options.

Going to go to church tomorrow where Bobby George gives the service at the nursing home. It has been since last Spring since I had a chance to see and really talk to Bonnie, my friend, and Bobby’s wife.

Saturday

September 6, 2014

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Have started and continue to work on setting my Fall goals I will be working on. Life is good. Each season teaches us the lessons we need to work on life.

Today a good friends daughter had a beautiful baby girl. One of the happiest days in life is when a new baby is born. My great nephew will be born next month.

Need to start getting moving as I have things to do. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

I learned the lessons of Summer

September 3, 2014

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I have made a lot of progress this Summer. Am ready to move forward and learn the lessons that Fall has to teach me. I have dealt with my feelings I have for my mother and am beginning to let myself feel the emotions I feel regarding my dad, plus loose 25 more pounds by Yule.

I hope everyone had a nice Mabon/Labor Day. I spent it with friends.

I have lost 45 pounds so far

August 22, 2014

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I am so happy with the progress I have made this Summer. Things will work out the way they should. I just have to focus and act.

I realized this weekend I have come along way in my healing and I am able to let better things into my life as I release and let go of the toxic to me.

Hope everyone has a great weekend

Been doing some soul searching

August 21, 2014

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Got the letter and the year’s booklet and am getting excited about DAR starting up for the new year of 2014-2015. I need to get back on track and not continue to be Distracted by Summer Fun!

Now it is put away the party me and get serious about being the best me and getting back to what I need to be focusing on. I have come so far and can’t allow myself to let myself give up all the progress I made.

I am a strong woman or I would not be where I am. I am always glad when Summer is over and Fall brings me back to reality and new goals in my life. We all need a little party time in our lives and that was Beltane and Summer.

I have and will continue on getting healthy. I am on my way to going meatless. I still eat dairy like eggs and cheese. I am trying Vegan food and see if it helps with my health issues. I know cutting out a lot of what I used to eat is making me feel better. I have just started to go more vegan just the past month, so I want to see where I am at 6 months from now.

People who are vegan say it is very healthy and the feel and look better then they did when they ate meat from factory farms.

My friends if they are real friends will understand that my Summer is over and party time is over for me. I have goals and work to continue in my fight against White Nationalism.

Off to a friend’s house to give her a reading.

Interesting Day

August 13, 2014

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An opportunity has arisen I had not expected that I am thinking about. A chance to move to the Rockies has come. My friend M and I have a chance to move with friends from here, who are moving back to be near family. It is worth thinking about.

CO may be more friendly to people like me who tend to be different from the Catholic/Christian mold. I might actually meet a man who has an open mind about things and not just repeat what Glenn Beck or Rush has said on the radio and other media outlets.

KS doesn’t have a Green Party like we did in AZ. At this point, my healing is the most important thing to me. People don’t realize how much work goes into starting a whole new Political Party. I want to be active in the election, and CO may already have a Green Party that I can join and help them gain Political power as a reasonable Party offering solutions to the crisis facing us because of climate change, etc.

Don’t think I will have the funds for the Witches Ball this year. Maybe next year M and I will be in a better place money wise and we can take fun trips together and have adventures in life. We like adventure. Maybe we can find one closer that will be great too. We want to have fun and enjoy life.

We are aiming for a birthday girls trip to Nashville. I have always wanted to go there and to Memphis. I like good jazz BBQ. March might be doable. M and T want to go, and we will talk A into going as she too likes adventure.

All will fall into place.

Just relaxing

August 9, 2014

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One great thing about life is that everything in the end works out as it should. I believe my plan B will be a better plan for me in the end. I know in my heart that I should be talking to someone in the SAR as I am DAR. There is nothing wrong with picking someone who would understand the truth about me and not being afraid to embrace a little adventure. Lol. Someone who understands duty first, duty second, and duty third.

I am not stupid or vindictive so if plan A ever wants to talk to me and have a real conversation with the purpose of the wrong being made right, and we join forces as friends to fight White Nationalists, I will listen with an open mind. I have said before I am not seeking to bring dishonor! I do want help, so I am going to plan B. I will still do my duty.

I will be glad when DAR starts in the Fall.

I am working through all my emotions and healing. Just have to keep the positive message in my mind, and not the negative.

Hope everyone is having a great day.

I am learning change can be new beginnings in life.

August 8, 2014

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Change was always hard for me, because I thought of it as endings and not new beginnings. I am moving to plan B. plan A proved to be only a childhood myth and not true life working together to fight White Nationalists. I am not angry anymore about the past. It happen. One can not change the fact that I never could find a way to turn my lemons into lemonaide.

Part of therapy was putting that boundary and accepting the results if there was no way that the wrong would be made right, and fate was made right. I know a lot of people don’t believe in fate or moral courage and honor. The world would be a better place if more people valued these things.

All my life I have had people say, think, and judge me as a a crazy loon who belongs in a padded cell, so no one would talk to me and listen to me as I tried to talk about WN and other topics that I think are important as a political daughter of the American Revolution. The truth is I am more sane then most people. I need TLC, but I am alright in the mind.

It is funny, but I remember telling a friend that I liked someone, and now all these years later I choose him for plan b. his bloodline also goes back to before the American Revolution. I wonder if he is SAR?

I also realized I don’t have to fear going back to Boston and facing my past. Things change over the years.

Still doing good with the weight loss.

I accept things as they are.

Sweet dreams and blessed be.

Friday night

August 2, 2014

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Just spending a quiet night home watching Rolling Stones on tv. Worked out a little. Just have to continue on the journey and path I am on, as it is leading to healing and a much better future and life.

I am realizing I am not the bad person, but bad things happen to me.

Why is there so much hate in this world?

Hope more people will give love and compassion a chance.

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