Thinking of Boston.

Had a dream last night, which makes me feel so stupid, because there is a part of me that still is hoping that Mr. Boston proves to me that he is worthy of me.  He won’t.  It is just the stupid side of me thinking that we could have a real friendship.  When am I going to get it into my heart  that he was never my friend?

It will never happen, that he admits his mistake and that he shows me he can be trusted, respected, and obeyed.

He is a spoiled little boy and not a real man.

Yet, when I remember how he made me feel when we would smile at each other, that part wants to believe in him still.  That in the end we will do what we should have done many years ago.

I don’t know why it has been so difficult for us to talk things out?

Feelings are coming out today, and can’t numb the pain, so just have to deal with it.

Someday I will meet the right guy for me.

Hoping that this trip to Boston will help me to let go of Mr. Boston and that my dreams will stop of us talking things out and being real friends.


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