4th of July weekend


Hope everyone is having a good holiday weekend. I am having a quiet weekend.

Am continuing my weight loss. I have lost over 25 pounds so far. my goal is 130.

Also working on healing of my whole being. Which includes an honest look at myself and face the role I played in getting to where I am today and then make the changes needed to reach my goals.

letting go of the toxic, the ones who by their actions prove that they are not my friend and care about me as a human being, and all control of the outcome but allow fate to work. Do you know how hard that is?

Heard from Chuck last weekend. We went out for lunch. Yet, I just don’t feel romantic feelings for him. A friend told me it takes time,but I can’t even think of being kissed by him. I know some girls would only look at the security of being with someone who can provide, without love; but that is not me and I can’t do that. I want love to be in the equation. there is no chemistry.

Haven’t had my first date with Ed yet, but talking to him on the phone I don’t feel hopeful that their is chemistry there either. He thinks Bon Jovi is a old jazz band. I know he is from KS, but to not know anything or listen to rock and roll is something that would be very hard to live with. Music is such a love of mine.

Is it going to be possible to meet the kind of man I would be interested here in KS?

These are the questions I need to ask myself. They have a chapter of DBE ( Daughters of the British Empire here in Kansas, near the Kansas City area. I am thinking this Fall when I am closer to having my makeover finished and I feel I am looking my best, then I will go to a membership tea. They are having one this month, but I still have a long way to go and I am not ready yet. First impressions mean a lot. You are not always given another chance to correct the misunderstandings or lack of communication made during that first contact. I always give other chances, but some don’t.

I liked New England guys, as I have more in common with them as far as culture. A lot of them share my Celtic heritage. I no longer live in New England. I loved Maine, and it was more rural then MA, but I haven’t been to Maine since the 80’s, so I know it is not the same.

I am not Christian Right Republican anymore. Of corse I don’t believe Democrats are any better either and are just as corrupted and lie just as much as the Republicans. Both the two main political parties have sold this country down the river and our Government is broken because they refuse to talk and listen to the people, but base their behavior on who gives them the most money and power.

I need to continue to work on myself and hopefully more options that appeal to me,will be presented for me to choose from. Next Summer will be a Summer that hopefully I have the body I want, my emotional and spiritual healing will be complete. I hope to take a trip back to Boston and New England and face the shadows in my life. The abuse I went through is over now. My heart was always there and I want to feel good about Boston again.

I love KS too, so we will see where my future lies.

I think Hawaii would be to hot for me as I do better in the cold then heat.

Who knows?



  1. 1
    chrisy58 Says:

    This song reminds me of home. My dad loved MA too.

    I wonder what the Marble Head Yacht club is doing this weekend. I remember going there.

  2. 2
    chrisy58 Says:

    More bee gees

  3. 3
    chrisy58 Says:

    There are so many great songs to choose from.

  4. 4
    chrisy58 Says:

    You can tell I really like the Bee Gees. They have a connection to Manchester where my grandmum was from. Someday I will get to the British Isles.

    I would love to be able to live half the year in the UK and the other half in the states to see my family.

  5. 5
    chrisy58 Says:

    This song is for Ed. This is Bon Jovi one of my favorite groups. Old jazz? I say Rock and Roll all the way, lol

    I like country, classical and all different styles of music. Maybe you can be open to rock and roll?

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