My Thoughts


We got an inch of snow last night.  I love the snow.  The roads are a mess so am glad to be home from Salina.  I find it interesting that people continue to drive fast even when there is snow on the ground and ice.  

I have been doing some research on Jewish [people and their History, as White Nationalists taught me a lot of things that made it sound like Jewish people were evil and out to control the world and the enemy of the White Race.  Have always been one to do my own research and not just take other people’s word as the gospel truth.  I like to look at both sides of an issue or topic with an open mind.

One of the books I have been reading is ” The Holocaust, a history of the Jews of Europe during WWII ” by Martin Gilbert.  Very good book so far;  

For the German side I am reading Goebbels, mastermind of the third reich, by David Irving.  I am looking forward to reading it as I enjoyed his book on Goring.  They are both very  large books.

I will be writing more on my online journal now.  As I hope my journey will help other women who find themselves involved in White Nationalism to make the hard choice and leave and realize the truth.  I remember when I first joined Stormfront as truthseeker.  I just wanted to find the truth and make sense out of what was happening in the world;.  It is a complex world and I think a lot of us just want to understand why things are happening that way they are.  Some of are brought in because of meeting a man who we fall in love with and so we embrace and accept the White Nationalist message.

We all make mistakes and stupid decisions in life.  I am the queen of bad decisions and not thinking before I act but just live and follow my emotions.l  Thankfully at 55 I am learned self control and thinking things through before I act.  I am not angry anymore or at least my anger doesn’t control me, as the angry little girls inside of me has found healing and peace of mind.  Going through the childhood sexual survivor group really helped me a lot.

Being in Kansas and taking a break from all this has been good for me too.  Now I am ready to post my thoughts again online and hope that I can help someone see the truth that WHAT WE WERE TOLD AND TAUGHT BY WHITE NATIONALISTS ABOUT THE JEWS IS A LIE.  

Not all Germans embraced the Nazi’s.  Some were killed because they stood up to the Nazi’s and helped Jews escape from certain death.

All my life, my mother had told me I was part German.  Her grandfather came from Germany, but taking the DNA test I found I have no German.  It said I was 100% European, but zero German.

I remember in my youth there was a Jewish guy in college and when he found out I had 1/8 German he blamed me for what happen to his grandparents.  He hated everyone who had any German blood in their veins.  So hate can be found on both sides.  

now I know I have no German blood running in my veins.  

It is amazing how they can trace you down to 1% of a ethnic group.  As I thought I am mainly British and Irish. (78%)

The next Spanish, Iberian, which is common in Celtic people so it goes with my irish blood. (10%)

Scandinavian 5%

East European 4%

Italian 1%

West European 1%

Jewish European 1%

That is my 100% European.

I had thought if I should talk about finding that I am 1% Jewish but decided i would.  I know White Nationalists will say because of my discovery I am tainted and that one drop makes me no longer European.  Some will say I lied to them because I didn’t tell them, but how could I tell anyone when I didn’t know?

I am now on a journey of coming to terms with who I am.  Where do I go from here?




  1. 1
    chrisy58 Says:

    In the mood for some George.

  2. 2
    chrisy58 Says:

  3. 3
    chrisy58 Says:

    I really miss him. Last night was great. I would have loved to see The sons of John and George play on the stage with Paul and Ringo.

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