It is August

August 1st is when my dad died so it is always a tough time for me.  Even though it was many years ago, I still feel sad around this time of year.  He died just before our trip of yachting around Cape Cod, MA.  His birthday was on the 19 of August and he had planned this wonderful trip we were going to be taking that Summer..  

 

I am happy being back in KS. I don’t miss having Internet as I think it has been good for me to be unplugged, lol. Growing up in the 60’s we didn’t have Internet or computers and so taking a break from all that is good for me. I was looking for peace and I found it.

I have been thinking. Those who read my blog during the time I was getting treatment for the PTSD know letting go of things, even if they are toxic for me is something I don’t do well. It has taken me a long time to accept and let go of things I needed to let go of and move forward. I am glad I am doing it now..

I joined the Y so am able to swim again, which makes me happy. I also think it will be a good way to meet people.

I am accepting that if someone doesn’t want to know the truth about you, but just listen to what other people say and write about you, then it is on them and not me. Just because I don’t judge them without first trying to hear their side of the story, doesn’t mean I will be treated with the same fairness. I am always going to be open to talk things out with the hope of peace and forgiveness between us, but at the same time I am moving forward and embrace life.

The anger I felt for Joe is gone.. I don’t wish him ill. I hope he is happy. He was my friend and even though he hates me and had a cold heart toward me, I try to remember the good in him.. It was my choice to take the abuse so he didn’t have to deal with it. It was my choice to protect him so as to not bring dishonor upon him. Joe never abused me….I was just abused over him…I don’t know how much he knew of the hell I was going through?

We were never able to really talk about things.

I am in a much better place and know I am on the right path.

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