Happy May Day

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Good morning. Hope everyone has a great day. Gooing to start with a song.


The Highway Don’t Care

Really love this song. I was lucky to see Tim McGraw in concert with my sister one year and he was great. Taylor Swift I really don’t care for, but I think in this song she sounds good. She tends to be to teeny bopper to me. Glad to see she is singing an adult song and not singing about her ex boyfriends… lol..

She is coming to concert here and the kids have already bought out all the tickets, so that is good. The children have their groups and singers that they like. I was crazy about Barry Cowsil and the Cowsils. I saw them in concert in 1968. Back then Barry or his brother John were on the cover of 16 mag. Bobby Sherman was also popular at that time. Taylor like Barry Cowsil and his family are talented musicans. People make jokes about their talent, but they started out as kids and as they continued with their music developed into song writers that were able to put their message into music.

Sadly Barry Cowsil died in 2005 in New Orleans during Katrina. But both Barry and his brother Bill who is also dead were very talented musicans who were never taken as seriously as they should have been. Taylor seems to be doing a better job of being accepted as an adult then Barry Cowsil did.


Barry Cowsil and the Cowsil in Going Home. One thing I loved about Barry Cowsil was his humor. Some very funny parts. Great song and it shows his talent. Love it when they go home to Fenway Park. They were from New England, Rhode Island, so going home for them was going back to New England.


Barry Cowsil-Some Good Years


Tim McGraw- One of Those Nights.
Great song.

My session with Helen went ok. We talked about my feelings toward the United States Government. I was telling her they don’t exist for me. I turn them off as they lie and are corrupted. I am not angry nor to I hate, but I just ignore them. Can’t trust them, respect them or even have faith at them.. The love I felt under President Kennedy died under Johnson/Nixon and all the rest.

Joe is part of the reason but not the whole reason. What happen to my dad under Nixon when he went for help to the United States Government when he was in Asia and told F you by the government, when they refused to help him played a bigger role. Joe was just the icing on the cake. Sadly Joe has to be part of restoring my trust, faith and respect and even love in the United States Government again. Since I don’t believe he will ever find the courage or compassion to face me and talk to me Catholic to Catholic where we tell each other the truth, and knowing the other person will not use it against us, I don’t hold my breath that I will ever feel toward the United States Government as I did under President Kennedy.

At 14 I learned that it was better to be British then American. That it was better to hold a British Passport then American. That my loyality and love are for the British Government that SAVED my dad, because he was half British because of his parents ( my grandparents).. If it was you, don’t tell me you wouldn’t pick the British Government over the American Government.. If it was the Americans who told her dad f you and refused to save him and it was the Brits who saved his life, you too would love and be more loyal to the British Government.

I don’t dislike Obama as a man but the office he holds. I don’t like any President of the United States since President Kennedy.

We are working on goals. My virtues of truth, courage, honor, and duty are very important to me. As a child, before Johnson and Nixon and all the rest up until today, I thought one could hold those virtues and work in Government. I guess I thought men of moral character like George Washington still existed in the United States Government. I WAS WRONG.

The virtues in the American Government are LYING, CORRUPTION, DISHONOR, AND BETRAYAL. THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE. WE ARE ACCEPTABLE DAMAGE TO THEM. WHILE THE BRITS CARE ABOUT THEIR SUBJECTS AND SAVE THEM WHEN THEY ARE IN DANGER AND GIVE THEM A HELPING HAND, THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT TELLS THEIR CITIZENS F YOU. IT ISN’T MY PROBLEM AND ALLOW YOU TO BE KILLED OR SUFFER. WORKING IN GOVERNMENT IS NO LONGER AN OPTION FOR ME, AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. SINCE JOE WILL NEVER FACE THE TRUTH THAT HE WAS A TERRIBLE CONGRESSMAN WHO MADE A BIG MISTAKE AND WANTS TO TALK TO ME CATHOLIC TO CATHOLIC WITH THE GOAL OF MAKING PEACE BETWEEN US, MY FAITH, TRUST, RESPECT AND LOVE WILL NOT BE RESTORED.

Need more music..


George Strait- Heartland


cross my heart

Someday some wonderful man who I can love uncondtionally will love me uncondtionally too. Then we both will be blessed with what is really important in this life. Uncondtional love is more valuable then riches, power, or fame….

I am moving back to the Heartland and to the country. It was good to see my good friend who I have known for years. We both have really missed each other. She has a couple of horses and her grandson wants to start 4H so I told her I will help him learn about horses. I will be able to start riding again. Those who know me in person know I love horses and being in the saddle riding.

I will be at peace and will just sit back and watch things unfold.. Whatever happens happens.

I am not going to continue to hit my head against the brick wall that I keep finding, because Joe and those who have his power, don’t care about learning about White Nationalism… Yes, I was right to start fighting them and to seek help from someone who acted and pretended to be my friend. HOW CAN I CONTINUE TO FIGHT WHEN NO ONE GIVES A DAMN AND I HAVE NO RESOURCES TO FIGHT WITH? I am not insane. I am strong willed and DON’T LIKE TO GIVE UP, but even I HAVE TO FACE THE TRUTH AT SOME POINT THAT I FALED!!!!!!!!!!!! I FAILED BECAUSE I COULDN’T NOT COMMUICATE IN SUCH A WAY AS TO MAKE JOE AND HIS FAMILY UNDERSTAND THE TRUTH.. PTSD IS A TERRIBLE DISEASE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T SAY THE THINGS YOU NEED AND WANT TO SAY. I take and accept my fault in the failure of not being effective in the FIGHT AGAINST WHITE NATIONALISM….

I AM NOT GOING TO CONTINUE TO FIGHT ALONE, WITHOUT HELP AND RESOURCES…

So you White Nationalists win and are free to continue work toward your goals. Know that my failure to gain much needed support in the fight is because I couldn’t communicate in an effective way to make Joe understand. It wasn’t from my lack of trying or because I was afraid to fight you. I still have the courage to fight, but don’t have the resources.

Have to think about getting ready for my enpowerment group.

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