30 April 2013

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Good morning.  I am back from my trip.

John, I am not approving your comment.  I have posted before that I have moved forward in life and leaving the past behind.  I am letting go of Joe and my fight against WHITE NATIONALISM. 

I CAN’T FIGHT YOU GUYS ALONE, AND I ACCEPT JOE WILL NEVER BE MAN ENOUGH TO FACE ME AND TALK TO ME CATHOLIC TO CATHOLIC AND DO THE RIGHT THING.  THE CALVERY IS NOT COMING NOR BRINGING MUCH NEEDED RESOURCES TO FIGHT YOU WHITE NATIONALISTS FROM ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS…  I ACCEPT DEFEAT… YOU WIN BECAUSE JOE AND I COULDN’T COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER. HE REFUSES TO BE A REAL MAN ADMIT HE WAS WRONG TO TREAT ME THE WAY HE DID AND BECAUSE OF THE PTSD I COULDN’T MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I let go of Joe and accept that I WAS WRONG TO EVER THINK THAT HE WAS A MAN OF HONOR AND TRUTH, AND HAD THE COURAGE TO FIGHT AGAINST EVIL.  I also let go of my FIGHT against you WHITE NATIONALISTS.  I TRIED TO GO TO HIM FOR HELP WHEN HE WAS A CONGRESSMAN AND WAS TOLD, WITHOUT HIM ASKING ONE QUESTION, ” IT ISN’T MY PROBLEM”.  Isn’t great JOE is SO SMART, that he can KNOW WHAT KIND OF HELP I WAS NEEDING AND ASKING HIM FOR WITHOUT ONE QUESTION BEING ASKED.  Joe was not being smart but being ARROGANT AND A JERK.  Do I add idiot?

So because of JOE and I you White Nationalists get a free pass…

I am moving to the country and just going to live life and let go of the PAST.. YOU WHITE NATIONALISTS ALONG WITH JOE ARE JUST PART OF THE NIGHTMARE I WANT TO WAKE UP FROM.

I am healing from the PTSD and LETTING GO OF THE PAIN…

I CAN ACCEPT THAT I FAILED IN TRYING TO GET HELP IN FIGHTING WHITE NATIONALISM….  I TRIED TO DO THE RIGHT THING SO I CAN LIVE WITH MYSELF.  JOE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF FOR REFUSING TO HELP A LADY IN DISTRESS, WHO WAS TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING IN FIGHTING WHITE NATIONALIST NEO NAZI HATE.  OUR FAILURE TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND FIGHT YOU WHITE NATIONALISTS IS ON JOE AND NOT ME.

Will JOE ever have the COURAGE to FACE ME and TALK TO ME?  I DOUBT IT.

Back to listening to country.  This song was playing as I was driving on the highways this past week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isNtEh6nQok

There  is no GOING BACK for me.  It doesn’t matter that I love Joe uncondtionally as my friend… The truth is that he is not worthy of my friendship…  If he had been a true friend he would have asked me WHAT KIND OF HELP DO YOU NEED?  or WHAT IS WRONG?  TO JUST SAY ” IT ISN’T MY PROBLEM” without ASKING ONE QUESTION, SHOWS HE HAD NO REAL FEELINGS OF FRIENDSHIP FOR ME…

I WAS IN DENAIL ALL THESE YEARS BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO FAIL… TO ADMIT TO MYSELF THAT I FAILED IN GETTING HELP IN THE FIGHT AGAINST YOU WHITE NATIONALIST NEO NAZI’S.  I KNEW THAT THE ONLY WAY I COULD EVER WIN THIS FIGHT IS IF JOE JOINED ME IN FIGHTING YOU AND YOUR EVIL.

MY FAILURE IS THAT I COULDN’T MAKE JOE UNDERSTAND OR SEE THE TRUTH, SO YOU WHITE NATIONLIAST WON.

SO YOU SEE JOHN, I WON’T BE TALKING TO YOU ABOUT WHITE NATIONALISM ANYMORE.  I GIVE UP THE FIGHT.

THE ONLY WAY I WILL CONTINUE TO FIGHT IS WITH HELP.  WITHOUT ANY HELP YOU WHITE NATIONALISTS WIN.. I WON’T TELL OR SHARE WITH JOE MY VAST KNOWLEGE OF THE RIGHT WING OR WHITE NATIONLAISM.  EVERYDAY JOE WAITS BEFORE HE DOES THE RIGHT THING AND TALK TO ME CATHOLIC TO CATHOLIC WITH THE GOAL OF MAKING PEACE BETWEEN US, IS ANOTHER DAY THAT I AM MOVING FURTHER AND FURTHER AWAY DOWN THE HIGHWAY…

I FEEL SORRY FOR JOE BECAUSE HE WAS A TERRIBLE CONGRESSMAN AND BECAUSE OF HIS ACTIONS AND LACK OF ACTION HE ALLOWED WHITE NATIONALISM TO GROW IN THIS COUNTRY.  HE ALLOWED HIS PERSONAL SELFISHNESS AND PRIDE HIJACK ANY MORAL CHARACTER HE HAD.  I WONDER IF IT WAS WORTH IT IN THE END, FOR HIM TO CAUSE PAIN AND SUFFERING TO PEOPLE FOR HIS PERSONAL GOALS AND REFUSE TO GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO PROVE THEY WERE THE ONES TELLING THE TRUTH AND BRING THEM MUCH NEEDED RESOURCES TO THEIR FIGHT AGAINST THE RIGHT WING AND WHITE NATIONALISM?  HE IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO LIVE WITH HIMSELF THAT HE ALLOWED HIS PRIDE TO STAND IN THE WAY OF ADMITING HE WAS WRONG AND HE DIDN’T KNOW EVERYTHING THERE WAS TO KNOW ABOUT ME.  THAT HE SHOULD HAVE HAD THE COURAGE TO FACE ME, SO THAT HE WOULD BECOME A BETTER MAN…I STILL BELIEVE HIM HAVING TO FACE ME CATHOLIC TO CATHOLIC WILL MAKE HIM A BETTER MAN.  JOE ISN’T MY PROBLEM AS HE HAS MADE IT VERY CLEAR OUR FRIENDSHIP MEANS NOTHING TO HIM AND I DON’T WORK FOR THE MAN SO HE ISN’T MY BOSS.

I see Helen today at 1. 

Have a lot to do today.

Chrisy

 

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1 Comment »

  1. 1
    chrisy58 Says:

    Chris Young- The man I want to be

    Just because I am angry at Joe doesn’t mean I won’t still fight to protect and defend him when I feel he is being unfairly attacked by you Right Wing and White Nationalists. He is still my friend in my heart and I don’t turn off my love and friendship like people turn on and off a light switch, so until my dying breath and even beyond on my part we are still friends.

    I am just accepting that I am not his friend in his heart.. Yet that doesn’t mean that I am not going to throw the life life when he is drowning, or fight along side of him when he needs a helping hand in fighting against the bad buys and trying to stop them in their evil goals.

    There is a part of me that will always believe that deep down inside he has a heart and courage.. It is part my fault because I didn’t and still don’t know how to communicate with him, in such a way as to help him understand and know the truth. I accept my role in the failure.

    I am getting my faith in God back.. By letting go I am letting God take control of this situation. With God working who knows what will happen in this situation.

    If he ever decides to do the right thing, I will always be willing to do the right thing too.

    I am going to continue to move forward and am still in contact with the man I was posting about in afganistan. Have stopped binged eating and am building a door in my wall.


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