28 Feb 2013


First I would like to wish my birthday brother who was born within a week of me and the same year a Happy Birthday.  He is dead now, but I always remember his Birthday.


I am celebrating my brithday this weekend too, that is why I am going to New Mexico to be with friends.


George Harrison had a birthday this week too.

Still haven’t been able to do my journal assignment for my survior’s group.  It is about family and emotionally I have come to a block.  Since I am going to be starting to see the leader of the childhood sexual survivor’s group one on one at the beginning of April, she can help me become unstuck and help me sort out my feelings about my family. 

How do I write about my big brother who never wanted a brother/sister relationship with me, so it always leads to getting my heart broken when I try to develop a relationship with him?

How do I write about my parents who lied to me about having a big brother and lied about me to neighbors?  I am a very sensitive and knew deep down inside I had a brother and when I talked about my big brother they said I was lying.  Then at 12 I come home from school and there is my big brother sitting on the sofa, you know the one they told me I was lying about.  Parents don’t lie to your children or about your children to save your face….  It leaves an emotional scare on your children that is very deep and lasting.

How do I write about my mother?  John, my mother was not a Liberal.  Think Artie Bunker and that is my mother.  I know you are to young to remember All in the family, but I am sure you can find it on dvd or re-runs.  I am more like the meat head, and so my mother and I were like oil/water and didn’t mix for long.  We were always fighting.  I loved her, I just didn’t like the way she treated my sister and I sometimes.  My sister had a different relationship with my mother then I did.  People are different and no two people are the same or have the same relationship with someone in the family.

Maybe I will turn this in as my journal assignment, as Helen reads them anyway, and we can sort out my feelings regarding my family.

We have the real estate agent coming today to take pictures of the house.  So I need to get going.




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