24 Feb 2013


Today on Breakfast with the Beatles they celebrated George’s birthday, so this morning I will play songs from George Harrison.  He was my favorite Beatle.


It don’t easy

I need to hear this song right now as I am going through a rough patch and feel like I am between a rock and hard place.  Please keep me in your prayers.  The Lord knows what is going on and how much I need help.

I am like a turtle and when people come on to strong, I retreat, and it is starting to happen now.  Need to start individual sessions again for now.  I don’t want to loose all the progress I have made in healing of my PTSD because of feeling forced to do something against my will.  I have been forced all my life to do things I don’t want to do.  I feel like I am still being punished for loving and trusting J as a friend by my mother because she hated J and his family with a passion. 

I know I talk in riddles, and this is another riddle.  Talking in bits and pieces is what children who have been sexually abused do. It is what all abused people do…  We live in our silence.  I was starting to come out, but I feel like reverting into my shell again.  What is the point of trying to get well, when every time you start getting up you are kicked down again?/p>

I would never try to force anyone to do something against their will that they didn’t feel was the best thing for them.  But would work together to find a solution that worked that both sides were happy with.  Yet, I guess in today’s world, working together with someone who is different then you not done anymore.  Sad, that we live in a world where some people have no rights or voice in decisions that effect them.

When is my miracle going to happen?


Got my mind set on you.

Thank you for praying for me.

We are having the wake this afternoon.





  1. 1
    Gar Says:

    Just a quick note to say we are all well and settled in. Life is great in the west!

    Working hard in new job, but will drop a line again soon.


  2. 2
    chrisy58 Says:

    Dear Gar,

    Am so glad you posted. Had lost your email address.

    Hope you will join the discussion with John as you might find our conversation interesting.. You both are White Nationalists so you might enjoy adding your thoughts to the conversation.

    Can’t wait to hear about your journey.

    Best wishes

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