5 Feb 2013


I would like to wish my good friend Nanette a very Happy Birthday!  We are exactly one month apart as we were both born the same year.  May your Birthday wish come true.

This song is for you.


She loves the Beatles too and had every single Beatle record.

Nanette is one of my oldest and dearest friends.  We are not old in age, as we are still young at heart, but we were confirmed into the Catholic Church together and she is part of my YOUTH.

Been a rough night as I have a tooth ache so I need to find a dentist as soon as it is late enough to call. They aren’t open yet.

Yesterday in group we worked on “I” statements.  I tend to sometimes hit people over the head with a baseball bat with my words.  One can hit someone over the head with a baseball bat with words, such as ” YOU ARE A COWARD BECAUSE YOU WON’T FACE A GIRL AND TALK TO ME.” 

So my homework this week for group is to write a letter to the person who I thought and wrote that about.  I am not going to send it to him, but will keep it and refer to it, for the day he does come and talk to me with the goal of ending things with me on a good note and making a real and lasting peace between us.  I hope we can restore and have a true and lasting friendship between us.

To my old friend in MA J, I am sorry that I have hurt you with my words and that I didn’t know how to communicate what I was feeling in a way that would lead you to listen to me.. Instead of bringing you closer to where you want to talk to me, I made you more defensive and made you shut up even more.  Please forgive me.

Another I statement I wrote in my letter last night to J.

Dear J

I felt like a failure and helpless when that day in the barn you said ” IT ISN’T MY PROBLEM” without you asking me one question like what is wrong, when I asked you to help me because I was being abused over you.  I needed a safe place to hide until my mother cooled down or she was put on a plane back to CA.  I had thought you were my friend as you always smiled at me and acted like you liked me.  I would appreciate it if I could finally talk to you about 2 very important issues.  One being child sexual abuse and white nationalism.. and hope that you will want to join the fight against these evils and bring much need help to the fight.  I also would like you to speak at our night against violence march in Phoenix in March.  You are a great and powerful speaker and those of us in my child sexual survivors group  would have no better or greater hero or protector then you.  Please be our voice..  Thank you J.


J, I hope you decide to come out of retirement and join the fight against child sexual abuse and White Nationalism.  I could help you.





  1. 1
    chrisy58 Says:

    Got an appointment with the dentist this morning.

    Talked to my nephew in Hawaii.

    Still plan to take a road trip to Boston and Florida and other places before I leave the mainland. Gong to go to California and Oregon too. Need to face my ghosts and put them to rest forever before I move to Hawaii.

    Some day I will make it to Scotland and England and Ireland. Just need to focus on my healing for my PTSD. There is a better life for me, just have to continue to work the program here and embrace the future.

  2. 2
    chrisy58 Says:

    The dentist is behind so they called and moved the appoint to 1 instead of 12.

  3. 3
    chrisy58 Says:

    Bad news. I have a bad infection where my old crown wore out, so I need a root canal and new crown. The other cavity will be easy to fill. So I am on an anti bioatc and pain pill. Hope I can sleep tonight. Go again Monday afternoon or Friday if they can get me in sooner.

    Staying in tomorrow. Going to my group on Thursday and Monday morning as they are very important to my healing.

    Looking at rentals in Hawaii and anything in a good neighborhood is really expensive. Even though my family is there, I just don’t know about moving there, as I want my own little condo that allows pets.

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