22 Dec 2012

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Good morning. Happy Saturday.

Dreamed of my old friend in MA again. This was a happy dream where he finally talks to me and realizes the truth about me. I always believed that the truth would come out in the end, that given enough time and patience on my part, that he would realize what a lucky fella he is to have a best friend like me in this world.

Sometimes I get discouraged and think that the truth will never come out and that White Nationalist and other lies are stronger then the truth, because they don’t want me to tell the truth to my old friend in MA who if he were to join the fight against White Nationalism and Nazi Hate, with other brave souls like me, that we will WIN and DEFEAT THEM.

Sadly, I don’t see JK’s passion and fire that made him the great man he is to me. It has been sucked out of him and I don’t know if he can get that passion and fire back.. Does he have the courage and strength that I always thought he had? I always thought that together we would be a powerful force for good in this world against evil. I believe that with me helping him and being his helpmate that he could achieve anything he ever wanted to achieve and dared to try to achieve. Still believe that.. Inspite of the ptsd, which I am finally getting help for, though 45 years to late, that I would still be a big help to him and build him up with love and understanding to be the great man he was born to me.

Yes, I am not going to try and hide my uncondtional love and loyality to JK, I would be an idiot to try and deny my feelings for him. Remember that there are many different kinds of love and that I know we can only be friends, so I am his best friend in this life. We all need a best friend who we can love and trust, who we know is always going to be honest with us and tell us the truth, who encourages us to be the best we can be…

I like the Dolly Pardon version of this song the best.

I will always love you. Yes, I love Country music too, so today I will play Country music.


Stand by your man- Tammy Wynette

Love this song. Like the old country classics.

At the same time, I am realistic and so am open to another man winning my heart and unconditional love along with my unconditonal respect and trust. Yet, so far, it hasn’t happen.. White Nationalist men will never win my heart, love, respect and trust, so that might me one reason why my heart still belongs to my old friend in MA? If I had a chance to meet a decent man and spend time getting to know him as a friend, who knows what my feelings would develop into given time.


Louisiana Woman , Mississippi man-


strong enough to be your man- Travis Tritt


the man I want to be-

I need to go as I need to deal with my mother.

Will write later.

Love
Chrisy

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