5 Dec 2012

My mother is being really demanding this morning.  Hope I won’t have to be forced to cancell my session again this week, because I have to deal with her wants… Beginning to think she does this on purpose on the days I have indiv. therapy for the ptsd due to the mental, emotional and verbal abuse she has always inflicted on me.  My mother likes to have total control over me, and always has, and maybe she is afraid if I get healthy that she will have no say in my life anymore?

I did binge a little last night, but no weight gain, as I had taken my mind off of eating to deal with my emotions long enough that I only ate a few items so really didn’t go over my cal. points I allow myself a day.  Got angry with myself for caving in and eating, yet am proud of myself for trying ways to stop the binge eating like writing on my journal…  Think of the progress and accept that in the beginning of my treatment there will be times that I fall back into old patterns of behavior. 

There is a better life out there.  Just have to keep working the program and get the healing so that I can embrace life and put the past behind me.  There are alot of people who have overcome abuse and have moved forward to embrace their destiny.  I will make it too.  Just take it one step at a time.  Have already made progress and must keep on keeping on.

My mother is calling me again, so I must go and deal with her…




  1. 1
    chrisy58 Says:

    Made it to my indiv. session. Went good. Making a lot of progress. Came home and fixed lunch…

    Love this song.

    May write later.

  2. 2
    chrisy58 Says:

    Found this on VNN and wanted to respond so I am copying and pasting it here, so I can post my comment.

    Western Culture and Women

    Reading this article, I was reminded of a thought that I have had many times: are White women “Western”? The answer, I think, is this: they are not Western per se, only superficially. They are benign or inert beings, followers who will embrace whichever culture surrounds them [1]. (That’s not a slap at women, it’s merely an educated opinion).


    [1] this is a big problem, since women are now senators, governors, mayors, federal judges, etc. and they make decisions which impact the lives of millions of Western people

    I am an old fashion women, but I don’t feel being a woman should bar women from serving in Poltics. One of my heroes Margret Thatcher who was a wonderful Prime Minster and leader of the Conservative Party was a woman.

    This is one area that used to really bug me about White Nationalist men, their thoughts that women had no place in the political arena. Hogwash.

    There is a lot that the woman can do in the Political world. I personally like taking a role of helpmate and helping a man be the best he can be, by gaining all the information he needs and making sure he has all the tools he needs to do what has to be done and come out the victor in the fights that one must fight… To encourage and inspire him.. To build him up with love and be his safe port in the storm..

    That is my choice. Yet, someone like Mrs. Thatcher chose to take the lead role and was excellent. There is no reason why an American woman someday can’t be President. If Mrs. Thatcher was a great leader, then any woman can be a great leader too.

    White Nationalist women, there isn’t anything you can’t be as a woman. Please don’t let White Nationalist men make you feel that because you are a woman, that there is no place for you in the Political World.

    Women should be active in the local level.. Who better to serve on the school board and fight for good education then mothers.. We are smart and can develop our minds just as good as a man.

    I hope that you will not believe that we as women are not qualitifed to be part of the process of government.

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