Good morning. Hope everyone slept well last night.
Group was good yesterday we talked about goals. Lost 1 more pound so only 2 more pounds to go this week to achieve my goal of loosing 3 lbs a week and eating normal..
We were talking about our life mission.. I have mine. Loosing the weight is the first step in achieving all the goals needed to fulfill my life mission.
My life mission:
Is to fight White Nationalism and restore a relationship with an old friend and his family so we can work together to fight not only the evil of nazi hate but all the other evil that is in the world and people need to stand up against. To work together to find real solutions to the problems facing the world today both political and with the environment. To both have courage to stand up for truth… To not only have courage but to have a good heart.. To have compassion on people and to always treat them fairly… To finally find my soulmate a man of courage, honor, truth, and passion.. Who sees that I do have courage, a heart of gold, and a good mind. Who understands I need help in developing my mind.. Who will like that I am old fashion and not mind a traditional kind of relationship… Who will know that to earn my submission he must win my unconditional love, respect, and trust. Who will love, honor and protect me and keep my safe… Who will want me to love, honor and submit/obey him.
The step I am working on now is to loose the weight again and get my eating disorder under control. To keep with group and the indiv. sessions and work on healing my many emotional wounds.
I was sharing a little bit in group yesterday about how White Nationalist men made me feel like I was to ugly for a man to love…The other women in the group said I was pretty.. I don’t see that when I look in the mirror. I don’t see a pretty face, but I see someone who is ugly because I don’t have blonde hair/blue eyes and don’t fit the mold of what a White woman should look like. I have curley hair that many Celtic people have, that goes into little ringlets like Shirly Temple had… It isn’t straight and silky as what White Nationalism men want.
I think people who do have eating disorders don’t see ourselves in the mirror as looking pretty… We have a distorted view of what we look like.
So getting my eating disorder under control and not using food as a way to deal with the emotions I feel because of living with my mother cause me, along with getting back to a weight that I want to be at is the goal toward my life mission that I am working on now.
One year from now I hope to be at my goal weight… I hope to be able to look in the mirror and think I look pretty..
Was very happy to hear the news yesterday about HRH Prince William and Princess Catherine having their first child… The happiest days are when babies are born.
So this is Christmas- John Lennon
Love this song.
Someday I will meet a man who feels this way about me.
Everyone have a great day.