Watched love actually in fast forward and watched te parts I only wanted to watch, as I wanted to try and get some sleep.
I actuallly got to bed about 2 and slept the best 21/2 hours I have slept in 4 days. I haven’t had the runs, so I think I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Going through withdrawals can be done. At some point you will have to go through them and get the drugs out of your body. Remember the hell so you are not tempted to say yes when you go to your pain mangament doctor. I got to mine again on the 6th, and we are going to have a talk and i am going to tell them we go for non narcotic opiate drugs like oxycodone or I will go somewhere that believes in sober recovery. I will nver let them talk me into taking those drugs again. They rob us of our souls and any chance of being the people God wanted us to be and do when he placed us here on earth. He knew exactly why he wanted us to be born when we were born. I usesd to think I was born to late.
I was always more of my grandmother’s generation and not of mine. I think that is why my value was never seen. That will change. It might take some time, but I will get to Scotland and the British Isles I love so much. I need to go home for a bit and heal mind, body and soul withmy own people. Maybe some time I will come back as I have family here and I do love America as I do go back to the Mayflower. I just need to have a break and get myself together.
I need to get myself together. Another hero of mine is Margret Thacther, a great Conservative Leader. The Iron Lady. I have those same English bull dog spirit in my blood too. That is why nothingh destroys me forever and I always at some point find a way to become stronger and better steel. Weak steel doesn’t last. I am not a bad person, but bad things happen to me. I am not a mentally wacked person, just a drug adict who is going to get clean and get my life back.
some of us are born with a personality to become addicted. It is in my genes. That is why there is NA for us drug addicts and AA for those who have a different problem. I never liked the taste of booze so my drug of choice is drugs. There are many former drug addicts that have managed to get well in body, mind, and soul. I will make it. That strong British spirit will see to that.
Some Republicans like to make a big deal about Obama’s feeling of Kenya as his homeland. It is his homeland as the United Kingdom is mine. I don’t judge him for that. I judge him for his dislike and trying to insult us Brits on purpose. The UK is a small nation compared to many other nations, but we have given so much and done so much for the world. Yes, mistakes were made in the past. Is anyone or any nation perfect? Only God is perfect. I feel Lboma is a bully and the way to stand up to a bully who makes it clear of his dislike for your race, people, nation is to stand up with eqqual strength and say, I will not allow you to bully me any longer. I am going to stand up to America and its president when he is WRONG!!!!!
Maybe someday, I won’t keep getting lost in translation and Americans will understand my British love of nation, my people, and government is or used to be just as strong as my American love of nation, people, and government when President Kennedy was alive. It has been under Nixion that I started to loose faith in the honesty and moral character of this government. I don’t honesty know if I will ever regain that trust or respect I once had.
Only time will tell. NA is a 12 step program and I am only on the first step of admiting I am powerless of my doc(drug of choice). It is with my higher power of Jesus and Mother Mary( I am Roman Catholic) everyone must pick their own, that I will overcome and be set free from the demons inside of me due to a life time of pain and suffering that I have endured for over 50 years. We were happy in Playa Del Ray, and it wasn’t until we moved up to the Bay area that things started to go bad in the 60’s. So I had a good 10 years before I developed ptsd. Back then adults didn’t think that kids could get ptsd and didn’t understand why we did the things we did. kids can suffer from ptsd.
I will no longer suffer in silence. I will be set free. It is a long program. So right now, I am taking a break from being political in this election. In 10 I helped a few local Green Candates here in AZ on the local level. This time, I have to put my sober recovery first and foremost. As always I will vote for the person I feel is most honest, honorable and a true leader of our times. It isn’t Obama. I don’t understand why Democrats can’t find the courage to challenge him for the betterment of the country, like when Johnson haad to be challenged and Republicans had to stand up to Nixon and make him resign.
I guess people lack moral courage to do the right thing anymore and put the nation first over their own personal gain. Money, greed, power come first over truth, justice, and honor. Over true leadership.
Politics has always been in my blood. That will never change. Though I have always chose a more support role then being the actual candidate. They need to have the right support behind them in order to do their job the best they can. Without that person who stands up to them and tells them they are wrong, inspite of their anger, then they fail. That is why a good helpmate is very important and working toward the common goal of doing what is best for the country and the people. That government no longer exists in this country.
I am a fighter. I will overcome my addictions and be clean.l I am aiming for a 30 day chip.
Don’t ever be afraid to admit you have a problem and take the first step to correct. You have to do what is best for you.
Love and Blessings and so happy I got a few hours of the best sleep I have had in four days. Day 5. I might actually go to target and get my blood pressure and thyroid med filled. That plus the diabetic one is needed. That is not in the same field as the oxycodone.