2 April 2013

Good morning.

I have not forgotten or forgiven the White Nationalist on Stormfront who posted his nasty comments about the Beatles. Those of us who were young in the 60′s and grew up listening to their music will always defend them when they are being unfairly attacked by anyone. Yes, you White Nationalists acted unfairly and without honor when you attacked George and John who are not alive on this planet to defend themselves and fight back. Paul and Ringo are still alive and they know that there will always be idiots who say things about them that are untrue.

You make it sound like George was a horrible terrible person because you White Nationalists didn't like who George fell in love with and married. Who are you to judge him for his choice? Are you the LOVE POLICE? Do you White Nationalists on Stormfront get to decide WHO A PERSON FALLS IN LOVE WITH?

All of us had a Beatle that we had a crush on. Mine was George. I liked all of them and admired them all for the great musicans they were and are. Paul and Ringo are still making music. Ringo is one of the best drummers and any group would be honored to have him play with him. Same with Paul.. Until you White Nationalists on Stormfront achieve half the things that the Beatles achieved, keep your mouths shut.

The White Nationalist didn't like the fact that George had a heart of compassion and tried to help the hungry people in this world or that we BABY BOOMERS BOUGHT HIS RECORDS TO HELP FEED THE POOR. I would rather be a part of the BABY BOOMERS who saw PROBLEMS in this WORLD and TRIED TO HELP then to be a White Nationalist who has no HEART or COMPASSION.

Many of you White Nationalists who are young think we Baby Boomers are old and are worthless. We may be over 50 now, but don't count us out as we can still FIGHT for what we BELIEVE IN and the MORAL IMPERATIVES IN LIFE.

TELL ME YOU WHITE NATIONALISTS, WHAT IS SO TERRIBLE ABOUT OUR MESSAGE IN THE 60'S ABOUT LOVE BEING THE ANSWER? What is so terrible about us believing in showing compassion to others? What is so terrible about us wanting PEACE in the World?

Love, compassion, and peace are still worth striving for. Just as TRUTH, COURAGE, AND HONOR ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR. We must find the courage and inner strength inside of us to stand up for the IDEALS we Boomers believed in as youth.

I don't know how many of you White Nationalists have seen the movie " downfall". It is a German movie with English Sub titles. Very good movie and tells the truth. Don't try and deny that many within White Nationalism admire Hitler. I know for a fact there are people within your ranks that do. In the movie Hitler talks about how one is not to show compassion for others as it is weak, but that only the strong survive and the weak die out. His very thought I heard from many within the White Nationalist Cause. Those of us who have compassion and are idealists are thought as weak because we aren't ruthless and have a heart of stone.

I disagree with you, and feel that it takes a strong person to be compassionate and to keep their heart of gold, in a world where love and idealism is considered an evil quality to have. That those of us who look at things as they are and think what can I do to make this a better world are hated, mocked, and thought to be the worst human beings alive on the planet. Yet, it is us who have the real strength. It is easy to HATE, LACK COMPASSION FOR YOUR FELLOW MEN, AND IGNORE THEIR CRIES FOR HELP. It is HARD, TO CONTINUE TO HOLD UNCONDTIONAL LOVE FOR OTHERS WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG. It is HARD TO CONTINUE TO SEEK PEACE WITH PEOPLE WHO ONLY WANT TO JUDGE YOU FALSELY. It is HARD TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO HURT YOU AND GIVE THEM ANOTHER CHANCE.

I know you White Nationalists think I am weak, but the last laugh is on you because I am really a strong woman. I have courage and I will continue to speak out against you on my blog.. Continue to seek to talk to my old friend in MA J about you and if he is willing to listen and learn from me about White Nationalist, then I know He will be looked upon as a hero, because he did the RIGHT THING in the END. I will continue to urge other WOMEN to leave White Nationalism and tell what they know too.

YES, WE BOOMERS ARE GETTING OLDER AND HAVE HAIR OF GREY NOW, BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE ARE JUST GOING TO DO NOTHING AND ALLOW YOU WHITE NATIONALISTS TO BRING YOUR VISION OF THE WORLD INTO REALITY WITHOUT A FIGHT. YES, I AM JUST ONE, BUT I BELIEVE IN TIME, OTHER BOOMERS WILL JOIN ME IN THE FIGHT TO STOP YOU FROM GAINING REAL POLITICAL POWER.

Need to go, but will end with a few songs.

Hey Jude

while my guitar gently weeps

Have a great day
Chrisy

13 March 2013

Good morning.

Starting to get hot in the valley of the Sun, as it will be upper 80′s and tomorrow it will be in the 90′s. What happen to Spring?

I really like Sun Lakes, as the people are very friendly.  Last night I was walking Benji and was talking to a woman who lives here, who is from Portland Maine.  She knew St. Francis College in Bediford that I attended and have a yearbook from.  It is now the Univ. of New England, which is a great school.  Yet, to me the campus will always be St. Francis as that was the name of the school on that campus when I attended. It was nice talking to someone that remembers St. Francis and what a great school it was.  It was right on the ocean and I spend hours walking along that shore. 

She also lived in MA for a time.  Southern Maine where we were is about 90 minutes from Boston, so we would go into Boston all the time.  I remember once my friend Annie and I were going back to MA for the Christmas Holiday.  She was going to Worchester and I was going to Milton.  We had bought the same Winter coat in two different states, and we get ready to go and we come out with the same coat.  Annie and I took many great road trips together.

This woman is going back to visit this Summer for a month or so.  I hope to be there this Summer too.. I want to have my base either on the North Shore or South Shore.   Then I would like to take a road trip to Southern Maine and visit the campus of old St. Francis.  The coast of Maine is beautiful.  I also would like to go to the Cape and stay in Mashpee where I stayed with my dad.  It used to be a very nice area.

I still have a long way to go in my healing for the PTSD.  When I leave AZ, going back home to Massachusetts is the best thing for me and not going to Hawaii.  Massachusetts is where I need to be for the second phase of my healing and taking time to decide what my next chapter in life will be.  Being in Hawaii at this point when I don’t want to be there will make us all miserable and I don’t want to do that to my family.  If I move to Hawaii, it has to be because that is where I want to be and I think it is the best thing for me.  If I am pushed there, then I will not be happy and if I am not happy can my family who is supposed to love me be happy?

It is better to let me go to MA and spend the time there I need in continuing to heal and decide what the next chapter of my life will be.  In my heart I feel this is the best plan and I will fight for it.  I will not give in, so we will see what happens.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chXJFjrl-Q4

Because we can- Bon Jovi

Really love this song.  It will be number one.

This song makes me feel that I am on the right path in FIGHTING WHITE NATIONALIST NEO NAZI’S.

I am a ROCK and not just a grain of sand.  That it is right for me to believe in my old friend and his family that if we join together and fight them that we will WIN AND KNOW VICTORY.  That LOVE is stronger then their WHITE NATIONALIST HATE.   THAT IF WE JOIN TOGETHER THAT WE WILL MOVE THAT MOUNTAIN AND WE WILL WIN.

We might not be in the military but we MUST STILL FIGHT AND TAKE A STAND against White Nationalism.  I BELIEVE WE CAN DO IT IF WE JOIN TOGETHER.  HIS RESOURCES AND MY KNOWLEDGE OF WHITE NATIONALISM WILL MAKE US AN UNBEATABLE TEAM FOR GOOD IN THIS WORLD.

WE WON AGAINST THE NAZI’S IN WWII, BECAUSE ALL PEOPLE CAME TOGETHER TO FIGHT THEM.  THEY LOOKED AT IT AS A MORAL IMPERATIVE.  I LOOK AT MY TELLING MY FRIEND THE TRUTH AND FIGHTING ALONG SIDE OF HIM AS MY DUTY.

I know I am not explaining this right.  I write better then I speak so that is why I have this journal which Helen wants me to continue.  Remember I am sorting out my thoughts of what is true and what is a lie presented to me as truth from the Right Wing.  I have so many things that I have to ask myself is this true or is it a lie.  It would be nice if my old friend would help me sort things out and let me talk to him about things.

I know people think I am a FOOL for giving him ANOTHER CHANCE TO BE A HERO.  He is MY FRIEND AND I LOVE HIM UNCONDITONALY AND FOREVER AS MY FRIEND.  I don’t turn off love and friendship like one turns on and off a light switch.  HE IS IN MY HEART FOREVER.

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.  So he made a mistake.  I have made a lot of mistakes in this life too.  WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU ARE WRONG THAT YOU CORRECT COURSE AND TRY his best to do the right thing and talk to me.p>

THAT IS WHY I DON’T WANT HIM TO FEEL GUILTY OR TERRIBLE WHEN HE FINDS OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT ME AND REALIZES HE WAS WRONG IN HOW HE TREATED ME THAT DAY IN THE BARN WHEN I ASKED MY FRIEND TO HELP ME. I WILL NEVER HARSHLY JUDGE HIM FOR HIS MISTAKES AND I ASK THAT MY FRIEND TREAT ME THE SAME WAY. HE NEVER HAS TO SAY HE IS SORRY TO ME FOR ANYTHING HE DOES THAT MAY HURT ME. THAT IS WHAT TRUE LOVE IS, KNOWING THAT YOU ARE FORGIVEN. ALL IS ASK IS FROM THIS DAY FORWARD YOU BE A BETTER FRIEND TOWARD ME AND VALUE ME AS THE WONDERFUL PERSON I AM, WHO HAS A HEART OF GOLD AND WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOU OR BRING DISHONOR TO YOU. WHO IS YOUR TRUE AND LOYAL FRIEND FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE.

I believe TOGETHER that we would WIN in our BATTLE AGAINST WHITE NATIONALIST NEO NAZI HATE.

We are showing the house today so I need to get off, but wanted to post a few songs that I hope will inspire and encourage you.

Leaving White Nationalism is very hard if you are a woman. We love our man and our friends. They are like family to you. Yet, do you really believe all that you are being taught to believe as truth?

In your heart do you really feel that Jews are the children of satan? Do you really feel that they control the world and are out to destroy the White race off the face of the earth? These are just a few of the lies being told to you as truth.

There are extreme Jews as there are extreme Whites. There are extreme Blacks and Mexicans. To take a few of their words and to generalize and think that all Jewish people think that way is not living in reality. You are living in poison home, where you can’t see the poison slowly killing you, but it is there. One day you wake up and you hold HATE IN YOUR HEART and BELIEVE THE WHITE NATIONALIST LIES AS TRUTH.

You lie to yourself and think you are a White Nationalist because of LOVE. Yet, is it really LOVE you hold in your hearts?

My choice to leave and seek to talk to my old friend who HATES me, has not been easy. I chose DUTY over FRIENDSHIP. HE AND I TOOK AN OATH. MY OATH WAS AS A DAUGHTER OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION. I AM A POLITICAL DAUGHTER AND NOT NSDAR. I MEANT MY OATH AS A DAUGHTER AND EVEN THOUGH I FEEL THE GOVERNMENT TODAY HAS STRAYED FROM WHAT IT STARTED OUT TO BE BY MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT IN THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION AND WERE PART OF FOUNDING IT; I WILL FIGHT AGAINST ALL ENEMIES FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC. WHITE NATIONALISM AND THEIR SUB GROUPS FALL INTO THE DOMESTIC GROUP.

YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU TAKE AN OATH IT LAST FOREVER. EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT LEAVE THE OFFICE OR GROUP YOU TOOK THE OATH WITH, YOU MUST STAND UP AND FIGHT AGAINST THOSE WHO ARE OUT TO DESTROY WHAT YOU HAVE SWORN TO PROTECT, DEFEND AND FIGHT FOR. THAT IS WHY I BELIEVE IN MY HEART THAT WHEN MY FRIEND KNOWS THE TRUTH, THAT HE WILL STAND WITH ME AND FIGHT AGAINST WHITE NATIONALISTS. THAT HE WILL SEE AND BELIEVE THAT TOGETHER WE CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS AND ACHIEVE WHATEVER WE NEED TO ACHIEVE.

Love is

I was really listening to the words in this song. It talks about LOVE breaks the chains. I think that is true. I am still breaking the chains, but as I choose love and forgiveness and healing I believe one chain will be cut and broken at a time and finally there will be no chains around me hold me down.

One thing I really want to do this Summer is go to a Red Sox game at Fenway Park. Love my Red Sox and love Fenway Park. It is next to impossible to get tickets, but if I am living there for the Summer I might be able to go to one home game. Boston has the greatest fans.

I don’t know if my nephew remembers coming to visit one Christmas and I got him his Red Sox Jacket. He collected baseball cards at the time. We had a lot of fun and we took them to Concord as well as other sites of interest. He even got to ride Tia. She was such a great horse. I miss her and riding.

Was talking to one of the other women in the neighborhood and her family has a horse ranch and they rescue horses and other animals that need a home. If I could start riding again it would be part of my healing.

Feels like tonight.

Just like this song and I need to get going now.

Back from NM

Made it home safe.  Tired so am not posting a long comment.  Just wanted to let everyone know I made it homeand it feels good to be back in AZ.

Working on my Journal for my Survivor’s group

The effects

I still don’t know all the effects that my sexual abuse and rape when I was a child has had on me in my adult years.  Emotionally I am still a child and not an adult, which as played a big problem in all areas of my life. 

I also tend to stay much longer in abusive relationships then I should, because I guess deep down inside I don’t feel I deserve anything good in my life, so when good things start to happen I self destruct.  I am a master at self destruction…

It has effected my self esteem and how I value myself.  I see myself as damaged goods on one side and scared to of men on the other side.  I want love but am scared of love at the same time.

Am angry at myself for being to trusting and such an easy target to very bad men who wanted to have sex with little girls.  I didn’t even know what sex when this man had sex with me.

I feel that my wants and feelings were never taken into consideration.  Had always wanted to wait until my wedding night so that my husband was the first one I had sex with.  That was my gift I wanted to give to him.  That was stripped away from me, by a very bad man who had his sexual way with me.

I don’t know why I attracted the bad men who forced themselves on me and threaten me if I didn’t have sex with them or threaten those I loved if I didn’t do what they wanted.

Don’t think I will ever forget the feel of the knife on my throat when a fellow student who had a ski mask so I never saw his face put that knife to my throat and dragged me in the bushes.  I knew it was a student as he had shorts with the school name on them and it happen at school.  The way I was treated by the school authorities makes me angry at authority and I have not trust or respect for people in power over me. I am rebellious and tend to tell them f you.

It has effected me in that I am a self taught person who has taught myself or had tutors.  I am all for homeschooling, as I didn’t like school and school didn’t like me.  I am a round peg and not fit in the one square peg that the school always tried to put everyone in.  I am a human being and not just another brick in their wall..I am different and I am me.  I don’t want to be like everyone else.  I like thinking and being outside the box.

I see young girls today and it breaks my heart that the crime of sexual child abuse is still happening and is even worst.  Yet, that same silence is still there.  Adults pretending that it isn’t happening and the child is made to feel they are 1.  either lying  2. crazy in the head because after all it never happen.  3 to just cover it under the rug never talk about it again.

So many of us turn to food to stuff down the pain, feelings, and crime against us.  You have to find some way to stuff down the emotions because you can’t talk about them, as no one wants to hear you or believe you.

We the victim are punished and the person who sexually molested and raped us gets a free pass, because the adults are in denial…

Yes, anger is a very big part of the effects that I suffer from.

We were to write for a limited amount of time and stop when the clock stopped at a certain time, so I am stopping now.

Chrisy

Getting ready to go to the Doctor

Back from group and had a salad for lunch before having to go for my complete physcial.. Don’t looking forward to it, but it is life, so you just put a smile on your face and deal with it…

Group was good this morning and we had a good turnout.  We were talking about self-esteem and our body image of ourselves.

We are a divided country and that is the truth.  As I said earlier this morning, it isn’t right to condemn someone for telling the truth.  I know that this person made it seem like the whole problem was on Conservatives, but I think in real life that is not the case.  Conservatives come in all shapes and sizes. Some of us are more like Conservatives in the UK, which is a lot more liberal then Conservatives in America.  I want to talk to this persosn first hand to clarify some of his thoughts before I will jump on him…

The problem of division comes from BOTH SIDES.   The us vs them mindset is in both Conservative Americans and Progressive Americans.  Progressives have attacked me for no real reason. Conservatives have attacked Progressives for no real reason.  Hate can be found in both Political camps.  I am hoping that if I ever get a chance to talk with this person in real life, that i will find someone who is willing to admit that his side is part of the problem too.

As it takes two sides to cause the problem of division it also takes two sides to be part of the solution of bringing the nation together.  This leads into my third point of leading by example.  He and his brother have a chance to show this nation that a Conservative based on the UK standards of a Conservative and a Progressive can come together and talk out our problems and find a solution so that we can join forces and work together to fight White Nationalism and White Nationalist hate.  If we can do come together in real life and join forces as one team against the evil of White Nationalist HATE, then we show that this nation can come together and work as one too.

I can help both him and his brother in their work.. I want to help them be the best men they can be and state their message loud and clear, to state the problems honestly and put forward soluitions… But most important I want them both to lead by example.  I have always believed and lived in my own life leadership by example and not just words.  We have to many Leaders who say the words but don’t lead by example.  I would rather be one who put example first over words, yet I know that I must have words too.

There is so much I could help them with, if they only gave me a chance.

We are at the crossroads, and so I hope that a Conservative and a Progressive can show the way of the two joining forces and working toward the greater good and moral imperative of fighting White Nationalist Hate.

I believe in the power of good over evil.. The power of truth over lies…  But most important I believe is the power of LOVE over HATE.

Let us strive toward peace and understanding between all of us.. Let us strive toward being part of the solution and not continue to be part of the problem.  And most important, let us find the courage to reach out and work with the other side, so that we can be examples of light in the darkness..

Need to get ready for Group

Just wanted to say good morning and share a thought before I have to get ready for Coping skills group for my PTSD.

Yes, I do believe this country is divided and more divided then it has been since the War between the States.  Don’t want to offend people in the South who hate the term Civil War, yet, I think they are wrong to call it the War of Northern Aggression.  This divide is a fact, so please don’t condemn someone brave enough to speak that truth out loud.  Have been saying it myself for sometime, so glad to see others realizing that this country is at a crossroads because of the divide.

The only problem I saw with the interview and I am at a disadvantage as I haven’t been able to talk to this person in real life to hear his views in person one on one as he hasn’t heard mine, was that 1.  He put any blame on his side for part of the problem of this divide.  Let us talk turkey, both sides are part of the PROBLEM…  Both sides MUST BE PART OF THE SOLUTION.  2.  Solutions given on how to bring this country back together. and 3.  Leading my example by showing that a Conservative ( based on the UK) and a Progressive can come together and talk through their problems and find a solution and work together in fighting White Nationalism and White Nationalist Hate.

Wish this person and his brother would come and talk to me as I could help them in their work…  I believe I would be an asset to help them reach more people and to help them put their message in such a way that both sides would listen and agree with their thoughts.  Right now, they are coming across not the way I am sure they want to come across in, which is turning people off to their message and leads to personal attacks upon them.  Could really help them with that.  I want to help them…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCMb13XA1sA

Wherever Love Takes me.

Will write more later.

 

Called The Doctor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rixpr5us63M

wanted dead or alive

It has been really tough and as

strong as I am, I was reminded by

the nurse that I had major surgery

and not just a simple break, so it will

be about 7 weeks that I will be in pain

and need pain relief.

 

Not even going to worry about facing

withdrawals again at this point.  Just have

faith in God that they won’t be so bad.

They shouldn’t as I won’t be on them

for years, but only weeks until my wrist

heals from surgery.

Will post the White Nationalist video

when I get back.

I may have a broken arm and in pain,

but I will still fight WN’s until my last breath!!!!!

This song is for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwIvBNsSywQ

back in black

Chrisy

 

Can’t sleep the pain is very bad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=PSH0eRKq1lE

Scotland The Brave

Maybe music will help get my mind off the pain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=JnyOqAiFyKc

Go lassie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE1OQAoSWAU&feature=endscreen&NR=1

Down by the Sally Gardens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=9SEdt9nWU74

Tuttle’s Reel

Hope you enjoy the Celtic music of Ireland

and Scotland.

Chrisy

 

link to ring of Fire

http://www.ringoffireradio.com/listen-live/

It starts in 5 minutes.

Wed. 18 July 2012

Good morning!  Still not a real happy camper

with this new format, as the older was easier.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JIKmmYVHDc

This clip was played over and over to get us

to think that Blacks want to kill Whites.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9Xp_5huGDk

John Tyndall in 2004

I was there and I can tell you he was very

powerful and passionate.  He was one of the

best I have ever met in person.  Learned a lot

from him.

For those who think I am lying about being

at Euro, I was in the 2004 picture taken.  Was wearing

a blue dress and blue hair bow.

sad that people aren’t given a chance to

defend themselves or prove they are the

ones telling the truth.

White Nationalists have good reason

to hate me.  My Progressive Dem. friend

has no reason to hate me.  I never looked

him in the eyes and lie to him.  If anything

I took abuse with the hope that he would find

the courage to face the truth and fight for the

truth against White Nationalism and National

Socialism.

Mr. Boston is lucky I am me.  Even though I

don’t trust him, respect him, or know I can never

depend on him in this fight against WN; I still

love him and see the best in my friend.

Like miss Millie who only loved and saw the good

in her friend Scarlett, I am the same way with

my friend.  Maybe someday my Scarlett

will see the truth about me and begins to value

me as the rare jewell I am.

Please pray there will be peace between us, so

we can join forces and work together in this BATTLE.

May we both fight for the oaths we took.

Will end with a song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHugEELD8o8

Rolling Stones – street fighting man

Chrisy