8 Jan 2013

543310_514358178586398_2120458852_n

Good morning.

We had a lot of people at group yesterday, some new people. We were talking about boundries.

One difference between me and my old friend in MA former Congressman ——- is that I can take an honest look at my feelings and actions and admit I am wrong. He is to proud and arrogant to admit he was wrong in the way he treated me..

Yes he had a right to not help me and give me a safe place to stay until the wrath of my mother had cooled down to the point it was safe for me to be around her or get her on a plane out of MA. Yet, at the same time, I have every right to angry about the way he so coldly treated me and just said ” it wasn’t my problem” without asking one question or telling me he would refer me to someone who did want to help this abused girl/woman.

So in this case WE WERE BOTH WRONG!!!!

I am sure if he were ever to find the courage to talk to me and we talk honestly about things, that we would find that there are more then just one area WHERE WE ARE BOTH WRONG.

I WON’T HOLD MY BREATH THAT HE WILL COME AND TALK TO ME CATHOLIC TO CATHOLIC TO CLEAR THE AIR AND FINALLY THE TRUTH HAS A CHANCE TO OVERCOME THE LIES AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS THAT WE BOTH WERE TOLD ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON AND SPOKEN ABOUT US. I WILL NEVER GIVE UP HOPE THAT SOMEWHERE IN HIS COLD HEART OF ICE IS A LITTLE BIT OF THE LOVE OF CHRIST IN THERE AS HE IS A CATHOLIC WHO STILL IS ACTIVE IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. SO THERE MUST BE SOME GOODNESS IN THIS MAN.

I dreamed of being in the UK last night. It was so nice, I didn’t want to WAKE UP STILL STUCK IN AMERICA.

When I die I do not want the American flag at my grave.. I WANT THE UNION JACK and God Save the Queen.. NO American Anthem for me. If I am ignored at this request and I find the STARS AND STRIPES instead of the UNION JACK, I WILL COME BACK AND HAUNT YOU. LOL

Hope everyone has a great day.

I have started to look for a nice man in his late 50′s or early 60′s who I might come to LOVE AND SHARE MY LIFE WITH. I am not actively looking but allowing myself to think of the possibility that there might be a nice man out there who would LOVE ME AS I AM, AS I WOULD LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALY AS HE IS, FAULTS AND ALL.

Who I could RESPECT and TRUST UNCONDTIONALLY, as I hope he would feel the same way about me.

I don’t have a long list of must have’s, but I do have 3 and maybe 4.

1. Love uncondionally on both sides
2 Respect uncondtionally on both sides
3 Trust uncondtionally on both sides
4 I am leaning that he must be British or Celtic/British. This is a question mark, because if the American man who hurt me so badly all these years ago faces me and we talk things out Catholic to Catholic and we make real PEACE BETWEEN US, then I will think AMERICAN MAN are not so cowardly, selfish, arrogant, and have no HONOR. I DON’T THINK HE HAS HONOR BECAUSE IF HE DID, HE WOULD TALK TO ME AND SEEK TO HEAR MY SIDE OF THE STORY BEFORE HARSHLY JUDGING ME AND THINKING HE KNOWS EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT ME, WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST… I THINK AMERICAN MEN HAVE NO CLASS.

Jeff was an AMERICAN MAN and looked how that turned out.

Neil was British and he and I had a great relationship but we were both to young.. I have always been more BRITISH IN MIND THEN AMERICAN, SO IF I EVER ALLOW MYSELF TO LOVE SOMEONE AGAIN, I AM THINKING THE MAN MUST BE BRITISH/OR CELTIC BRITISH OR EVEN HALF BRITISH.

So I know I am limiting my choice, but I am tired of allowing myself to fall in love with AMERICAN MEN WHO TREAT ME SO BADLY.

Love
Chrisy

About these ads

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 34 other followers

%d bloggers like this: