4 Jan 2013

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Good morning. Posting a picture of George Washington today.

Would like to send congrads to a man who the last time I saw was a little boy, who has been sworn into Congress yesterday. You are a man now, and I hope you will be a great Congressman and be a Representive of the PEOPLE… You are smart, kind, and have a good heart and have compassion for others.. Don’t loose that.. Please listen to the people and never be afraid to talk to them one on one. Be fair in your dealings with all people.. If someone asks you for help don’t just answer it isn’t your problem without first finding out what kind of help they are looking for. You never know if your refusal to help that person causes them to be stuck in HELL. You might just realize at a later date, that they were trying to talk to you and wanting your help in fighting White Nationalist HATE, and you miss out on being a hero and protector to women and children in need.

I wish you the best and am very happy that you have grown into such a fine man. I wish your brother happiness too. It is hard for me to think of you both as all grown up and soon starting famlies of your own.

——————————————————

Feel like a little Tom Petty.

My mother has been very demanding today. She is trying my patience.. She can drive a sane person crazy with her crazy talk.

I feel like I want to fly away for a little free falling away from her for a week or two. Just having fun and enjoying life and not have to listen to her bark out orders and telling me she is going to die any moment, when she is barking out orders at me… I am not cold or cruel but I think as long as she is barking out orders and demanding this or that from me, that she doesn’t need 911 called.

Alot of things are just in her mind.

Yet, I am the one she alwyas said was crazy… I am actually the sane one.

I am learning with the ptsd that the problem child isn’t the problem but just the symptom of the problem within the family because we are the most honest… We act out the problem.. We are the scapegoat…

I keep on hoping that I can talk things out with an old American friend, as before I apply for my British Passport and renounce my American citizenship, I want to leave this nation without any unfinished business between us. We have things we need to say to each other and he needs to put on his big boy pants and face me and talk to me one one one. He is 60 years old, so he needs to start being a man and face me. I have never wanted anything from him but that he face me and we tell each other the truth and we give each other the sign of peace as Catholics. I mean the real sign of peace.. I STILL ONLY WANT THE TRUTH TO COME OUT AND THE RIGHT THING DONE. He needs to find the courage to face me a girl who has ptsd so even though I am a woman, emotionally I am still a girl… Because I am stuck in my childhood because of the trauma I have endured in this life. So it isn’t like I am a scary monster, but just a girl who need him to be a man and face me and we act like adult Catholics and talk things out with the goal of making real peace between us.

When that happens then I will be free to move to the UK and renounce my American Citizenship. I think he HATE ME, so you would think that would be enough to get this 60 year old man to put his big boy pants on and face me and we talk things out and hopefully end things on a good note for both of us.

I am the best friend he has ever had in this life and always will be… He COULD DO A LOT WORST THEN HAVE A FRIEND LIKE ME WHO LOVES HIM UNCONDITONALLY. I KNOW WE WILL NEVER BE MORE THEN FRIENDS, BUT I CAN BE HIS BEST FRIEND WHO TELLS HIM THE TRUTH, INSPITE OF HIS GETTING ANGRY WITH ME, BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO HEAR THE TRUTH… HE NEEDS TO HEAR THE TRUTH SO THAT HE CAN BE A BETTER MAN AND BECOME THE GREAT MAN I BELIEVE HE WAS BORN TO BE. I HOPE THAT EVEN AFTER I MOVE TO THE UK THAT WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS EVEN THOUGH HE IS AMERICAN AND I WILL BE ALL BRITISH AS I WILL GIVE UP MY AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP.

So my journal entry today is about FATHER and SON.

I WILL NEVER SAY WHO IT IS, SO PLEASE DON’T EVEN TRY TO ASK, AS I TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, I WILL LIE AND MAKE UP NAMES. DON’T TRY GUESSING, BECAUSE 90% OF THE TIME WHEN YOU ASSUME THINGS THEY ARE WRONG.

Someday I pray that my prayers will be answered and the FATHER will find it in his heart to face me and listen to the truth. May he realize I have never lied to him. Yes, he was lied to about me, but it wasn’t I who lied to him, it was others who lied to him. May the truth finally come out and justice be done after all these years AND HE BRING THE MUCH NEEDED RESOUCES TO THE FIGHT AGAINST WHITE NATIONALIST HATE.

PLEASE PRAY HE WILL FINALLY HAVE AN AWAKENING ABOUT ME AND DECIDE TO DO THE RIGHT THING TOWARD ME, SO THAT I CAN LEAVE AMERICA AND GO HOME TO THE UK, WITH PEACE BETWEEN US.

Love
Chrisy

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2 Comments »

  1. 1
    chrisy58 Says:

    For some reason I am very emotional today. I think it has been non stop dealing with my mother since I got out of bed. I couldn’t even enjoy my coffee this morning.

    The only real peace I get is when I am asleep at night. In my dreams I can travel to Scotland and the British Isles. I can go to the Isle of Skye where my MacDonald side comes. I can go to Ireland and just enjoy being with my people on my Celtic side.

    Paraidse to me isn’t a warm tropical island, but the British Isles… That is where my heart is and that is where I want to be.

    Next Monday we start back up with my PTSD therapy and the two groups on Monday and Thursday which will be good.

    I will write later as I can already tell it is a day where I will need to vent on my online journal.

  2. 2
    chrisy58 Says:

    Interesting video.


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