Good morning. It is 21 Dec 2012 and we are still here… didn’t think the world was going to end today.. Remember when 2000 was nearing and Jeff was worried about what was going to happen and had prepared a place in the woods for us with his guns and ammo, food, and supplies to last for years.. Spent New Year’s eve 2000 miserable in this cold place as we couldn’t stay in Portland..While I would have perfered to be in Portland celebrating or at least home in our comfortable home, he insisted we camp out away from all the destruction. It was cold, rainy and miserable. Actually thought ending it all was better then to continue living with him in his CI/White Nationalist hell. I prayed out to God to save me if he was there and had any feelings of love for me, to please end this hell I was living in. God answered my prayer and with the help of my sister and family I was out of there in Feb.
If only God will answer my prayer about their being closure and resolution with my old friend from MA. We have unfinished business that we need to take care of. The truth is on my side. I was being abused by my mother over him and his uncle and went to him for help as I needed a safe place to stay until she could be put on a plane back to CA and out of MA. He answered me when I asked for help one on one in the barn, without one question being asked, ” IT ISN’T MY PROBLEM”. I WAS SILENT. I COULDN’T SPEAK. I WAS IN SHOCK. NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN TREATED SO COLD BY A FRIEND WHEN I WAS IN NEED OF HELP DUE TO THE ABUSE OF MY MOTHER AND OTHERS.
Then add that I NEED TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT WHITE NATIONALISM, MY OLD FRIEND REALLY NEEDS TO FACE ME AND TALK TO ME….HE NEVER HAS TO TELL ME HE IS SORRY. UNCONDITONAL LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP MEAN HE NEVER HAS TO SAY I AM SORRY TO ME OR HE WAS WRONG; BUT TO ONLY FACE THE TRUTH THAT HE WAS WRONG TO TREAT ME THE WAY HE DID THAT DAY IN THE BARN AND BY REFUSING TO TALK TO ME AND FINDING OUT THE TRUTH FROM MY OWN LIPS.. THAT ONCE HE REALIZES THE MISTAKE TO CORRECT IT AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT. STILL NEED HIS HELP IN FIGHTING WHITE NATIONALISTS AND IN HELPING ME AND OTHERS WHO FIGHT ON THE FRONT LINES AGAINST WHITE NATIONALISTS WITH MUCH NEEDED RESOURCES. HE WOULD FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF. I BELIEVE IN HIM, INSPITE OF HIS FAULTS… JUST WISH HE WOULD REALIZE IT DOESN’T MAKE HIM LESS OF A MAN TO TALK AND LISTEN AND LEARN FROM A WOMAN WHO ONLY WANTS TO HELP YOU BE THE BEST MAN YOU CAN BE IN LIFE AND ACHIEVE WAHT YOU WERE BORN TO ACHIEVE.
OTHER PEOPLE IN MY POSITION WOULD HAVE DESTROYED HIM BUT TO THIS DAY I AM HIS TRUE AND LOYAL FRIEND WHO LOVES HIM UNCONDITONALLY AND WHO AS A SPECIAL WING PERSON DEFENDS AND PROTECTS HIM, WATCHES HIS BACK, AND WILL MAKE SURE THAT NO ONE DARE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HIM. I AM HONEST AND HAVE NEVER NOR WOULD I EVER LOOK HIM IN THE EYES AND LIE TO HIM. NOT AFRAID TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH EVEN THOUGH THE TRUTH MIGHT MAKE HIM ANGRY.
SOMEDAY HE MIGHT JUST REALIZE I AM THE BEST FRIEND HE EVER HAS HAD OR EVER WILL HAVE IN THIS LIFE.
I know this is one reason why I am having a crisis of my Catholic faith right now. Year after year I pray that there will be a resolution and JK and I will finally be able to talk to each other and clear the air with the truth. That the right thing be done and help will be given to those of us who fight White Nationalism on the frontlines and women/children who want out of WN hell, who are willing to tell him what they know to help him WIN this BATTLE, the help they need in getting healing and starting a new life.
I WISH I COULD HELP MY OLD FRIEND SEE THAT HE NEEDS TO COME OUT OF RETIRMENT AND THAT THIS TIME, HE WILL SUCCEED, BECAUSE I WILL BE THERE TO HELP HIM SUCCEED AS HE WILL BE HERE TO HELP ME SUCCEED AND ALL OF US SUCCEED WHO ARE BRAVE ENOUGH AND HAVE THE COURAGE TO FIGHT THE EVIL OF WHITE NATIONALISM.
AD/DC – Back in Black
This song was playing on KSLX as I was walking Benji this morning. I hope JK decides to come back into the ring and join my friends and I in FIGHTING AGAINST WHITE NATIONALIST HATE. WITH JK ON OUR SIDE WE WILL BE A POWERFUL FORCE.
shock me all night long
Have a great day.
Need to do some Christmas shopping. My mother is always a hard one to buy for.