20 Oct 2012

Good morning.  Hope everyone has a great day…

Made a very interesting discovery today… It doesn’t matter as I am well on my way to healing from the PTSD and being able to move forward in life…  Don’t need them in my life….  I thought we could be friends and help each other out, but more and more, I realize the fruit of their behavior is very clear that they have no real moral courage, so do I really want them fighting along side of me against White Nationalism?

There will be someone else who has the same resources who will see the need to help women who want out and are willing to tell what they know, and how important it is to have a group that focuses on helping those women….  Who will help the smaller groups who fight White Nationalism that need much needed resources.  To talk with those who were White Nationalists but who are now out fighting them so that real knowledge can be gain…

I can’t force someone to do the morally right thing… I can’t force someone to be open to the truth and even face the truth, so that they begin working from the point of truth….  I can’ force someone to care about the women and children who are in White Nationalsim and are being brainwashed to hate others..

It shouldn’t surprise me the silence and no feeling of even wanting to hear the truth, because they too have HATE in their HEARTS for anyone thinks DIFFERENT THEN THEM….  They seem to VALUE only those who BELIEVE THE DEMOCRAT PARTY LINE… REALLY SAD AND DISAPPOINTING to say the least…

I am getting better as I am not even angry anymore….  I am sad, but not angry… I think I already knew that their would be no COMPASSION OR HONOR shown me… After all it has been over 20 years that I have been trying to get this SO CALLED DEVOUT CATHOLIC FAMILY TO FACE ME AND LISTEN TO THE TRUTH WITH AN OPEN MIND… THEY CONTINUE TO REFUSE TO SHOW ANY HONOR REGARDING ME.  SAD REALLY SAD that Catholics would TREAT ANOTHER CATHOLIC THE SHAMEFUL WAY THEY HAVE TREATED ME WHO WAS A TRUE FRIEND WHO LOVED THEM UNCONDITONALLY AS A FRIEND.

While they toot their own horn about how GREAT they are and how much THEY HELP OTHERS IN NEED, I know the TRUTH…. IF YOU WANT THEIR HELP YOU BETTER HAVE A TV CREW THERE TO CAPTURE THEIR GOOD DEED, BECAUSE IF YOU ASK THEM ONE ON ONE THE ANSWER IS ” IT ISN’T MY PROBLEM”…. THEY HAVE NO HEART OR COMPASSION FOR OTHERS IN NEED.. THEY ARE INDIFFERENT AND HAVE NO HEART.. GUESS THEY AREN’T REALLY LISTENING OR FOLLOWING THE TEACHINGS OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH THEY SAY THEY BELIEVE IN SO STRONGLY AS DEVOUT CATHOLICS…. AT LEAST I AM NOT A HYPROCRIT…

They can toot their own horn about how much they CARE ABOUT WOMAN AND THE WELFARE OF WOMEN, but by their ACTIONS, that too just seems like ONLY WORDS WITHOUT TRUTH BEHIND THEM, as they sure don’t care about women who want out of White Nationalism and are trying to do the right thing….

I think THIS LACK OF MORAL COURAGE, HONOR, VALOR, AND RESPECT  AND VALUE FOR TRUTH AND JUSTICE is why I have so few AMERICAN HEROES in the POLITICAL WORLD and the MAJORITY OF MY HEROES ARE BRITISH and SCOTTISH….

SOMETIMES I WONDER IF THE TWO AMERICAN LEADERS WHO PLANTED THEIR SEED IN ME WHEN I WAS A SMALL CHILD LIVING IN AMERICA WERE REALLY LIKE THEY SEEMED TO BE.  WERE THEY REALLY THE HONORABLE, HONEST  MEN OF MORAL COURAGE THAT I AS A SMALL CHILD THOUGHT THEY WERE?  WERE THEY TELLING THE TRUTH?  WAS IT THEIR SEED THEY PLANTED THAT HELPED ME TO DEVELOP INTO A WOMAN OF COURAGE AND HONOR AND FIGHTING FOR WHAT IS RIGHT?

MAYBE IT WAS MY BRITISH/SCOTTISH HEROES THAT WERE REALLY THE REASON FOR ME TO GROW UP TO BE THE STRONG WOMAN OF MORAL COURAGE I AM?

Maybe it is time for me to strike them off my list of HEROES and REALIZE THAT I WAS LIED TO AS A CHILD AND THAT THEY WERE NOT THE HONORABLE MEN OF TRUTH WHO HAD COURAGE TO FIGHT AGAINST THE EVIL IN THE WORLD.  SO I GUESS AS MUCH AS IT HURTS ME, I AM DOWN TO ONE AMERICAN HERO AND THAT IS THE AMERICAN PEOPLE…..  HIS SONS BY THEIR ACTIONS AND LACK OF ACTIONS HAVE FINALLY SUCCEEDED TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING THAT OTHER  PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO ACHIEVE FOR YEARS AND THAT IS TO DESTROY MY LOVE FOR FOR THEM AND THEIR IDEALS THAT THEY TAUGHT ME… THE SAD THING IS IT WASN’T THE RIGHT WING/ WHITE NATIONALISTS WHO WON THAT GOAL OF MY NO LONGER HOLDING THEM AS HEROES AND LOVING THEM, BUT HIS SONS WHO SHOW ME THAT, THAT FAMILY HAS NO REAL COURAGE, HONOR, OR COMPASSION FOR OTHERS AND IT IS JUST ONE BIG LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STUPID ME, FEELS THAT FIGHTING AGAINST WHITE NATIONALISM IS A JUST AND HONORABLE CAUSE.  TO BAD MY HERO’S SON’S DON’T FEEL THAT WAY… WHO NEEDS THEM ANYWAY?  I WILL FIND A DIFFERENT PATH TO BRING MUCH NEEDED RESOURCES TO THE FIGHT AGAINST WHITE NATIONALISM!!!!!

DON’T RESPECT THEM THOUGH…  I HAVE MORE COURAGE IN MY LITTLE TOE THEN THESE MEN HAVE IN THEIR WHOLE BODIES…. SHAME ON THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not using CAPS because I am yelling but to mark my PASSION….  I am a passionate women….

A REAL MAN WOULD BE ABLE TO FACE ME AND WE TALK ONE ON ONE… HE WOULD GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN AND DEFEND MYSELF AND HE WOULD LISTEN TO ME WITH AN OPEN MIND AS I WOULD SHOW HIM THE SAME RESPECT….. SO TO ME THESE AMERICAN MEN ARE NOT REAL MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for letting me vent on my journal…

The sad thing is that White Nationalist men have more courage in their body then these men… At least White Nationalist men fight for what they believe in….  They have passion and heart for their Cause.  They have honor among themselves….  I don’t agree with their view point and that is why I fight them, but I am not going to lie and say they don’t have courage….

Whereas these Progressive men that I have been hoping would find the courage to face me and do the right thing, seem to lack REAL COURAGE… WHAT DO THEY BELIEVE IN?  WHAT DO THEY REALLY BELIEVE IN?  I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT REPEATING THE DEMOCRAT PARTY LINE, BUT WHAT DO THEY BELIEVE IN AS MEN?

I DON’T THINK THEY HAVE THE COURAGE TO STAND UP AND FIGHT BUT WILL ALWAYS CHOOSE TO TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT AND NOT FACE THE TRUTH AND WILL CONTINUE TO CLOSE THEIR EYES TO THE PAIN AND SUFFERING OF THE REAL PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY…. SO LET THEM CONTINUE TO LIVE IN THE WORLD OF MAKE BELIEVE AND TO LOOK DOWN AND THINK BADLY ON THOSE OF US WHO TRY OUR BEST TO OVERCOME THE MOUNTAINS IN OUR LIVES AND DO THE RIGHT THING… THEY HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT REAL PEOPLE GO THROUGH AS THEY DON’T REALLY CARE.

YES, THEY COME OUT EVERY FOUR YEARS AND SAY HOW MUCH THEY CARE BUT THAT IS JUST ANOTHER LIE.. THEY PRETEND TO BE GOOD CATHOLICS, BUT THAT TOO IS JUST ANOTHER LIE BECAUSE THEY REFUSE AIDE TO THOSE IN A SITUATION OF ABUSE THAT NEED A SAFE PLACE TO HIDE FOR A TIME UNTIL THE SITUATION COOLS DOWN…. ANY CATHOLIC WHO WOULD TURN DOWN AIDE TO AN ABUSED CHILD IS NOT A GOOD CATHOLIC IN MY EYES….

Need some music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7rFYbMhcG8&feature=endscreen&NR=1

Do you feel like we do- Peter Frampton

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkADj0TPrJA

In the Air – Phil Collins

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6838wrnYhC0

Invincible- Pat Benatar

Chrisy

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