I love this picture. This is a castle in Scotland. Scotland is heaven to me. Need to go there for a time and get out of America. Hopefully I can find a way for Benji and I to get to Skye, Scotland for a time and then travel to Ireland and all over the British Isles from my base in Scotland. Can’t think of a better place on earth to heal and decide about the next chapter in my life, as I close the one here, that isn’t going anywhere. The calvary is never coming to help and bring resources to the BATTLE so I must face that and accept that sometimes EVIL wins and LIES are stronger then TRUTH.
No use to continue something that is only in vain. Time to face the truth that some people will never do the right thing as Catholics and that we must accept that and allow God to open a new door and let go of the dream of working together with the people we wanted to work with. God has a plan. Just need to keep my eyes on him and my faith in Christ and the Catholic church first and foremost. God’s plan is different then mine, I guess, so I am going to submit to the Lord’s plan and not continue to insist on my plan being the right way forward.
I will always be willing to make peace, Catholic to Catholic and talk things out if the other side is seeking to do the right thing as Catholics. The friendship with JK is over, as I really can’t trust him, respect him, nor work along side of someone who has so little compassion for others who are abused and suffering. Who doesn’t even give me a chance to explain or defend myself nor allow me to prove I am telling the truth. Who makes asssumptions about me and judges me on the game telephone and not on talking to me one on one without anyone else there to distort the truth. Who believes the best in me as I always believed the best in him. I KNOW HIS STAFF WAS TERRIBLE AND DIDN’T SERVE HIM WELL. THE DIFFERENCE WAS THEY WERE IN IT FOR THE MONEY AND I WAS WATCHING HIS BACK OUT OF LOVE FOR A FRIEND. MONEY CAN’T BUY YOU A GOOD WING MAN WHO WATCHES YOUR BACK. LOVE IS WHY PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO FIGHT AND DIE FOR YOU. HE DIDN’T HAVE IT. HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO LEAD OR INSPIRE THAT IN HIS STAFF. HE NEEDED SOMEONE LIKE ME WHO WOULD WATCH HIS BACK OUT OF LOVE AND MAKE SURE HIS STAFF SERVED HIM WELL. HE DIDN’T HAVE THAT SO HE FAILED. Yes, he failed. Because he failed, I failed in the battle against White Nationalist Hate that is growing around the world.
I am part British. More British in mindset then American. I have always gotten lost in the translation. My mother all the time tells me she doesn’t understand me that I am a strange bird. I don’t understand Americans so we are even. I don’t blame him for not understanding me and my British mind as I don’t understand his American mind of not giving a person a chance to defend themselves one on one. I believe in courage, honor, truth, and justice. I thought Americans believed in those things to and based alot of their Laws on the British Laws, but I guess I was wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jk hurt me very badly. I need time to heal. I don’t want to be angry with him anymore, so please pray that someday a miracle will happen and his brother who I asked to represent me with him, will forward the letter I sent him to JK and we can finally both do the right thing as Catholics and we finished our unfinished business that we have. I chose his brother to represent me with him, as I knew his brother I could tell anything and nothing would ever be used to hurt JK. I still protect him, which is beyond me that no matter what he has done to me, I always protect him. I must be really stupid or in love.
This was my last hope of there finally being peace between us and us joining forces to fight against WN hate. I feel that White Nationalists win and get a free pass.
Going to my PTSD group meeting today. Will be the first time since I broke my wrist 4 weeks ago that I have been able to go. Since not on the opiates I feel I can drive a longer distance. The pain is really bad, but so far not seeking a refil, but toughing it out. pain and suffering always makes me stronger.
Yes, I want to get a second tattoo I think I want to get the Union Jack/Scottish flag right next to eachother over my heart. or as close to my heart. I had thought about getting something that goes with my Celtic heritage so that might be tattoo three in the future. I have the rose and the sword on my shoulder that represents the rose of the jacobite cause and the sword that we fight. I do want to do something that is in line with my Celtic heritage for tattoo two.
If not the Union Jack /Scottish flags then it will be something else that represents my Celtic heritage and is important to me. tattoo are like one’s colors. They should mean something so one has to plan and think hard about the tattoo you want before you get one.
Two tattoos is not a lot. Most people don’t even know I have one, so they won’t even know I have two.
I will try and think more positive about America and Americans as I am half American. I met my oath as a Political Daughter of America. I just get so discouraged when I see the corruption, the indifference, and the greed within this gov. and people who hold power in our gov.