Back from Group

My mother was being her usual difficult self and I had to fight my way out the door to go to ptsd group.  She can’t stand it that I won’t give her the phone and address of the group meeting so she can call me during it.  It is against the rules.  What we say stays there and we don’t need the telephone ringing with her calling.

She is a real piece of work. I love her as she gave birth to me.  She is a real pistorl were Bob W words when he met her.  That is where I get my spitfire personality but at the same time I am respectful of people to chose their own path and not be abused over it.  I have a Celtic heart, which she doesn’t understand.  We are like oil/water and do not mix.  So we both get angry with each other.  She gets angry at me and I get angry with her.  It is always and has been walking on egg shells with her.

My dad and I connected and he was a very healing and peaceful presnence in my life.  I could be myself and he never made me feel that I was wrong to choose what I chose.  It was we will find a way together to make your goals and dreams come true.  He made mistakes we all make mistakes, but I loved him.  It was wrong of my mother to tell me that he tried to force her to have an abortion and he didn’t want me to be born in the world.

Well I need to think about getting lunch for us and see if she wants me to go the the store for her.  It is going to be another hot day, so I would like to try and get back into the ac.

leave you with a song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXUbONRNROM

Beach Boys-Sloop John B

That is how I feel about living here in AZ with my mother.  I want to go home to BOSTON.  I want to go HOME.