We are so much like oil/water that we don’t mix well together. I realize that I have more anger then love right now for her. I told her before I leave I am going to be handing her a letter, she said she didn’t want a letter. Well she is getting it, as she needs to know all the things she has done over the years to make me angry. I doubt she will ever admit that she abused me emotionally, verbally and mentally. I don’t even expect an I am sorry I made your life3 HELL for you. I am sorry I abused and tortued you over someone you love but I hate.
No I don’t have a date that I will be leaving to go back HOME TO POSBON. I am thinking either Fall or by Christmas at the latest. I like Boston during the holidays.
Last night I realized I have more love then anger for Mr. Boston, who my mom hates with a passion. Yes, it was so fun being tortured day after day over him and his family. So I was a child during their reign and they planted a seed in one little girl. I liked them. I thought they were telling the truth, so in her eyes it is crime enough to punish. We can’t have my daughter grow up to be a Liberal Democrat can we?
Why was I abused over my Liberal friends who I liked, but White Nationalist Republicans were ok in her eyes? Twilight zone. I live in the Twilight zone of not being able to wake up from the nightmare.
I have done my duty toward my mother. It is time for me to find the happiness that my sister has in having a wonderful man like Michael to love her as much as he does. I love Mr. Boston like that. For him he had a second chance, but I don’t believe in second chances for me. My mom will never know how angry I am for the way she treated me over Mr. Boston. You don’t choose who you fall in LOVE with. It just happens and that person has your heart until the day you die.
My mother’s will be the last letter I will write as I am still to angry at this point to write my true feelings as I am still more angry then love her at theis point. I need to get to the point that like Mr. Boston I have more LOVE then anger.
I hope the ptsd therapy helps in getting rid of all the damage my mom has done to me. I love her and she loves me, but she just doesnt’ know how to like a child like me who is different then her. I don’t know why we don’t mix. Why it is best that our time is limited.
A song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IA3ZvCkRkQ
Mariah Carey- Hero
I have to be my own hero, as my Prince didn’t want to help and be a protector to women/children trapped in White Nationalist HELL. We women must be our own hero and be strong enough to say enough is enough and LEAVE, even if we don’t know what is ahead of us.
God will show us the way.
Chrisy
