Was able to take another good nap this afternoon. I am so tired because of not being able to sleep for such a long time. That is part of the problem of becoming clean. I would rather be me and walk around with an injured houlder/neck and be clean. At least any pain I feel is real. My mind is getting clear and out of the fog. I have always been like a sponage that tries to soak up as much education as I can. I am self taught.
My jornal is focusing right now and seeking welnness and finally at 54 overcoming the ptsd. I don’t think my family really understands ptsd but think I am just some looser. I have to believe that I will find the right program of holistic healing and be set free. I have always fought so hard for life.
I am just taking a backseat for while on the other fights and battles. I am still reading and gaining knowledge.
The eyes are the soul of a person. I can look into other people’s eyes and sometimes see the same sorrow and pain in theri eyes, that is when I sometimes will reach out in friendship and offer someone who understands and will be a true blue loyal friend.
Someday when the man who knows everything about me and who knows I would be a wonderful helpmate and a source of great joy and help to achieve common goals; I believe he will want someone like me who only wants to be taught that phase of life from her husband, will value my gift.Plus, I can only marry another Catholic. We Celtic women are strong and make wonderful mates. As I said, I haven’t met him yet, but I still dream of him. I want love, but can’t explore that side of life yet.
Well here is a song, before I take Benji out.