I have been thinking about friendship the last few days. I think of that old song make new friends but keep the old one is silver and the other gold. I have always believe that song had a bit of truth in it, as there are some people in our lives who we don’t speak with for awhile but as soon as they call or you see them again the friendship just picks right up where you left it. Those are the friends who are your friends through out your lifetime.
Then there are the friends who one is close to for a time, but something happens and people grow apart. People change and that too is a part of life. I too have had friends like that, that we were close for a time, but we grew apart and never spoke to each other again. I don’t have angry feelings toward them, we just changed and the differences became so great that the friendship was not able to continue as close as it was.
Then we have the friends who hurt us. The friends who disappoint us. The friends who we think care about us and our friendship as much as we do, only to find out that they didn’t care at all, or if they did care they just didn’t care enough. Maybe they are fair weather friends when the going is good they are around to share your good times, but once things are difficult they leave you or they just can’t be bothered anymore to be your friend.
I think all of us have known fair weather friends in our lives. Yet, we have three choices on how we handle the experience. We can accept the lessons learned and move forward in life and not look back and let it go or we can make things more difficult by still believing that we can talk things out, or the last choice of getting angry and allowing the anger to take you down a self destructive path.
I have few real friends in my life. I can count them on one hand. I also have known people in my life who I have hung out with and have shared good times, but could never develop into real friends because they didn’t take the time to understand me or why I do the things I do. I remember one person who didn’t want to be my friend because I talk in bits and peices. I didn’t spill everything out at once. She could never understand that a lot of abused kids talk in bits and pieces because we are testing the person to see how much that person can take. If they are strong enough to deal with the truth. We also talk in bits and pieces because there are emotions we are feeling that we are not ready to deal with and we can only deal in little pieces. This blog is good in that I can get some of my feelings out.
True friends also forgive each other. I have a heart of gold and I forgive people. We all make mistakes and I always forgive a friend. Though some people don’t forgive and that is very sad. One of my best friends we have fought before but we forgave each other and I believe in the long run it made the friendship stronger and we will always be friends who accept each other as we are and don’t judge the person.
I am happy because one of my true friends is coming back to AZ and we can start hanging out again. Near or far we will always be friends. No matter what part of the world either of us may travel I will always be there for her as I know she will be there for me.
To my true friends out there, I love all of you. We are there for each other and inspite of the struggles that life throws at us are there for each other to help, support, encourage, and inspire to be the best women we can be.
Chrisy
I’m constantly thinking of my friends in NY. Your post is right on the money with how I feel about friendships. A girl, one of my first best friends, and I grew apart after high school, but we recently got in touch again through Classmates.com.
Chris and I finally got an offer on our house, and we’re moving back to NY permanently, next month. I’ll be back with my little “inner circle,” again. These are friends that I’ve known since high school, and we’ve managed to stay as a group of friends all these years. A few of us within the group had some drama with each other a while back, but we got together and talked it out, and we’re stronger than ever, now. That’s how I know they are true friends. I’m normally not a forgiving person, but it was worth it. I also made a few new friends through them, last time I was up in NY.
I’ve also had my fair share of fairweather friends. I think those are fine, too. There are different levels of friendships. My fairweather friends would be people that I know from work or wherever, that I happen to get along with, we’ll get together for lunch, but it’s not a type of friendship that’s deep and personal. It’s good enough when there’s nothing else to do.
I tend to “talk in bits and pieces,” myself. It happens when I don’t want someone to know something about me, but I don’t exactly want to lie, either.
Other than that, I consider myself very blessed, I think I have the best husband and group of friends anyone can ask for. They all get along so well, too. I’m thankful for this opportunity to unite us all. That’s some “unity” I can truly believe in.
Thanks for the pic chrisy, its great to put a face to the person. Friends, sheesh now thats a tough one. I, being the cynical umbeliever, seeing a conspiracy in most things have no dear friends. My wife has good friends but I can’t get close to them, there is always an alarm bell going off in my head warning me off. I honestly prefer my own company and that of my family, strange? In my country will call this ‘high wall mentality’, you know you biuld a high wall around your house, install sate of the art security devices, door and window protection and when the sun sets you arm the system and stay inside. No door bells no going out to check the chickens. When dawn comes you deactivate the security, check the perimeter and start your days chores or go off to work. Sad considering I live in a modern city, but alas all this will come to end soon when I immigrate to a new country for a new start and then there will be the chance to make some friends and possibly a new life for my children.
You know what chrisy, I think we may have a strange kinship on your blog, no need for pretence just plain old fashion chat and honesty.
LOL, all we need is a cup of coffee and a rusk!
Regards,
Garfield
I like both of your responses.
Saturnia, I am so happy for you that you have an offer on your house and you can move back to New York. I value your friendship too my friend. Though ours is mainly online, it is still a very real and lasting friendship. I wish you the best. I will always be here if you ever need anything.
Garfield, We did get off to a shaky start. I hope we have overcome the difficult times and will move forward into better days ahead. I think so. I like the new name.
Good luck in your move to a new country. I wish you and your wife the best. I would think leaving your country to move to another country would be very difficult. Some people find it hard just to move to a different state, let alone another country.
I am hoping that this will be a place where people can just chat and be honest with their feelings.
I just noticed there must be something in the air of people moving. I have one friend moving back to AZ, my online friend Saturnia moving back to NY and one that just moved to TN not to long ago.
I still dream of moving back to the Northeast as I do like it there, but I just take things one day at a time, though I do check out the Cape Cod site and Boston.com for news and info everyday. I was sharing with a friend, that even though I dream of going back to MA that the reality is that all my family is in the cematary in Lynn and I have no true friends left in MA so I know in my head that I have nothing left to go back to. My next move might be to Hawaii or TN. I really don’t know.
“I just noticed there must be something in the air of people moving. I have one friend moving back to AZ, my online friend Saturnia moving back to NY and one that just moved to TN not to long ago.”
Oh, last time I talked to her, she mentioned moving to TN, looks like she finally did it? She wanted to take her family away and start a new life. I don’t blame her. I feel like I’m doing the same, only I’m going back to where I came from, back to people who love and accept me as I am. Back to painting the walls of my house crazy colors, back to movie nights, parties, being able to go out during the day and not die of heat stroke, metal shows, wandering around the City, hiking, huge farmers’ markets, and cold, bitter winters.
MA is a beautiful state, I miss driving out to Salem and walking around, sitting at the piers and just letting myself space out. Then, there’s Cape Cod and whale-watching, and certain nightclubs I like to go to in Boston. But, I’ll get to do all that again, in no time.
There’s so much I want to do when I get back up to NY, I’m already overwhelming myself, lol.
I am so happy for you my friend.
I really miss MA. I miss Boston and Cape Cod. I miss the good seafood, pizza (they don’t know how to make a good pizza or grinder here), Indian pudding (that no one here knows what I am talking about) and SNOW.
I would love to go to New York. There are so many places that I would love to see and visit. Someday I will go. I was there for one night in 1984 and got to see Central Park and the Empire State Building. I would love to see New York around Christmas as it always looks so beautiful in the pictures I have seen.
Who knows what the future will bring. Your going home and maybe someday I will get to go home to the Northeast too. (smiles)